I Miss The Fun
I miss having fun. It disappeared sometime around my 9th month of pregnancy when I became increasingly uncomfortable and hot (it was August, after all), and it hasn't resurfaced yet -- even though my daughter will be 6 months on Sunday.
I miss doing fun things instead of feeling like I'm drowning among all the things I should be doing instead of want to be doing. And it's not like I'm doing them anyway: the kitchen is still a mess, the floors need to cleaned, the laundry's piling up and who can remember the last time the sheets were changed on our bed? Not to mention my own personal maintenance: my hair needs to be dyed, my clothes need to be bought in sizes that don't slip off my slowly-returning-to-normal-post-preggo body, and my toes -- well a pedicure sounds heavenly right about now, but I have no time.
No time at all.
I miss going for daily walks with my husband, holding hands, talking about our days. Now, each night is a rush: get home, change clothes, make dinner, feed baby, put baby to bed, crash myself since she's back to not sleeping well during the night and I need to make up for the sleep I've missed.
I sometimes feel like I'm about to crash into a brick wall. Our relationship is rocky...we get along, but have no "couple" time -- he's working just as much as me and I feel like I can't ask my inlaws to watch her more than they already do (twice a week).
How do women balance it all? I feel like I am always running on empty and almost out of something.
And mainly, when does life become fun again?