I Miss The Fun
Posted 5th March 2009 by Kristen, tagged new baby, married life
I miss having fun. It disappeared sometime around my 9th month of pregnancy when I became increasingly uncomfortable and hot (it was August, after all), and it hasn't resurfaced yet -- even though my daughter will be 6 months on Sunday.
I miss doing fun things instead of feeling like I'm drowning among all the things I should be doing instead of want to be doing. And it's not like I'm doing them anyway: the kitchen is still a mess, the floors need to cleaned, the laundry's piling up and who can remember the last time the sheets were changed on our bed? Not to mention my own personal maintenance: my hair needs to be dyed, my clothes need to be bought in sizes that don't slip off my slowly-returning-to-normal-post-preggo body, and my toes -- well a pedicure sounds heavenly right about now, but I have no time.
No time at all.
I miss going for daily walks with my husband, holding hands, talking about our days. Now, each night is a rush: get home, change clothes, make dinner, feed baby, put baby to bed, crash myself since she's back to not sleeping well during the night and I need to make up for the sleep I've missed.
I sometimes feel like I'm about to crash into a brick wall. Our relationship is rocky...we get along, but have no "couple" time -- he's working just as much as me and I feel like I can't ask my inlaws to watch her more than they already do (twice a week).
How do women balance it all? I feel like I am always running on empty and almost out of something.
And mainly, when does life become fun again?
5 comments so far...
But most importantly don't be afraid to ask for help. Perhaps you can hire a babysitter for a Saturday night or see if there is anything in your area that offers parents night out babysitting. For example, in my area there is My Gym, that has that and on Friday nights you can leave your kids from 6-9pm. A few hours here and there helps. Don't be afraid to hire help. Yes you may save less, it may cost you but think about how much better you will feel.
Flag as inappropriate Posted by on 7th March 2009
Flag as inappropriate Posted by Natalie on 5th March 2009
(And as far as the out of shape part goes for me, I'm totally excited about the time change this weekend and the fact that I can go back to exercising after work--have to do it with the kids and it needs to be outside in order for them to be entertained--so the long walks/runs will resume!!!)
Flag as inappropriate Posted by spacegeek on 5th March 2009
You really will feel more like a human when your child can pick up food herself! And eat it! And walk around! Seriously...it's an amazing transformation. So don't give up.
Also, you may need to decide what you can let slide. Can your husband take on some chores? Can you dig out a couple of Crockpot recipes so you don't have to do so much in the evening?
I'm a HUGE fan of flylady.net, but that program too can be overwhelming for some folks. I like it because it makes me feel like I have a plan for dealing with my chaos.
Take care of yourself -- get sleep as much as you can, drink your water, take a walk with your husband (and your baby in a stroller! They really DO sleep better if they've been outside during the day!)
Most of all, know that it does get better.
Flag as inappropriate Posted by Steel Magnolia on 5th March 2009
We also went on lots of family walks. My daughter loved being outside and my husband and I could talk or just be together while we were out. And when you are out walking you can't do any chores.
Life will never be the same, but it does get more fun. Around 11 months my daughter finally started sleeping through the night again consistantly. This really does make such a difference. Around 1 her schedule got more normal too. Soon your child will be able to interact and you and your husband will really be able to enjoy her.
Flag as inappropriate Posted by Stacey S on 5th March 2009