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Phenomenal Woman

Last week I realized something that kind of took me by surprise ... I have a pretty low self esteem.  As a woman being critical about your physical appearance is typical.  We live in a society where our beauty is compared to super models, where plastic surgery is no longer whispered about in "knitting circles", and that being "average" is no longer good enough. Somewhere along the way I stumbled.  My greatest personality traits became my biggest faults.  I could no longer look in the mirror and be happy with what I saw.  Visualizing my future as anything but a constant struggle prevented me from having happy dreams.  I cared so much for others I forgot to care about myself.How did I get like this? In January I attended a company conference.  It was my first time in a long time that I was completely out of my daily grind.  I was on the other side of the country sans Princess D in a gorgeous hotel room all to myself.  Instead of Disney/Dora language I talked in internet geek/project management language.  I drank a good amount of wine knowing I didn't have a little kid waking me up in the middle of the night, but not too much that I couldn't make it to the next morning work session.  I smiled, laughed and danced ... a lot!  I was relaxed and happy.  Apparently is shined through!Once I got home after a whirlwind 4 days of conferencing I started to fall back into the same person I had left behind.  I started to fade into the background.  I started to shy away from the mirror.  I struggled making decisions that would only benefit myself. Why was I letting myself go backwards?Since the conference a friend has been challenging me more and more to see myself as perfectly beautiful inside and out.  My therapist is helping me rebuild my strength and confidence.  And, I need to trust that I am a phenomenal woman and learn to let that woman who was at the conference shine through during my daily grind.  I need to be teaching Princess D to have a good self esteem by having one myself.