Member Blogs

"I need help."  Doesn't seem hard..  The first time I started to say that phrase, I gave some sob story about being so busy, not knowing what to do then felt so strange, that I asked for a name of a contractr instead of just asking the person for help.  When prompted with "Do you need help?" the response usually is "No, I'm fine.  I can handle it."  We all know this is a lie.

So, fast forward to a 2 1/2 year old who is in desperate need of an outdoor area to play.  Parents are easy to ask for help.  "Mom," I said, "I need a place for P to play.  Wanna split the cost of a swing set?"  Her reply:  "No, me and dad will take care of it.  Just pick it out we'll send it.  Do you need help putting it together?"  Token Answer:  "No, I'm fine.  I can handle it."  Two months later, the swing set was still in the box.  Arg!!!  Ahh!!  I can't handle it!!  A single parent, working all the time and living in the HOT south... when am I supposed to put together a *%^@ing swing set??!!  Seriously...I need help.

So, I formulated a plan - find a teenage boy...any teenage boy who will work hard for pennies on the dollar and who needs a lesson in construction.  So, days went by that I was thinking because I can't just ask any co-worker if his son is willing to do physical labor for next to nothing.  Why coulnd't I just ask one of the guys I work with?  I don't know...  I mean, I can handle it, right?  So while complaining about a day at work, it slips out of my mouth "I need help putting together a swing set.  Are you and your sons available?  I'll pay them."  Answer:  "Of course!  We'd love to help!"  What?!?  Really?!?  It's that freakin easy? 

The result is a beautifully assembled swing set.  It's already a favorite of my daughter's.  I am so grateful for the help the "guys" did for us.  It's so difficult to ask for help. Why?  I mean, what's the worst that the person is going to say..."No" ?  And what's the big deal about that?  The very truth is, I need help every day.  It's hard.  Life's hard.  I need to ask for help.  It's okay.  It's okay to say that I am overwhelmed and need help.  That doesn't make me a failure.  In fact, it makes me stronger to know that I can recognize a need in myself.  I'm very skilled at seeing a need in someone else.  It's about time to look at myself and see when I'm overwhelmed.  The solution is easy: Just walk up to/call/text/email a friend/co-worker/family member and say "I need help.  Are you available?"  That's it.  That's all.