The difference between being happy and fulfilled
Posted 8th November 2009 by Suzannah Scully, tagged work, career, happy, fulfilled
People always talk about happiness. They ask themselves, “What will make me happy?” or they’ll say about another person, “They seem so happy, what’s their secret?” The truth of the matter is, and some of you may disagree with me on this, is that happiness happens in moments. The first time you kiss someone you’ve had a crush on or you get the call that you’ve received the job you’ve been dreaming of or laughing so hard with your friends that your eyes water. Those are moments of pure happiness. And they are so beautiful! But they are moments and they are impossible to sustain.
So, what is sustainable? The answer is feeling fulfilled. And what does that mean to be fulfilled? Well, it is different for everyone but it is when you feel satisfied with where you are in your life and the direction you are heading. Where you know yourself well enough that you make decisions and choices in your life that make you feel alive. So even in those crazy busy days where you feel overwhelmed or on those sad days where there’s a loss that you feel, you may not feel “happy”, but you feel fulfilled.
I have a client who was always chasing what would make him “happy”. Bigger house, nicer car, important job, etc. until finally we worked together to discover what his values were that were completely unique to him. And we prioritized what it was in his life that made him feel alive and not just living on auto-pilot. The changes in him after working on that were incredible as he said he turned into the person he imagined being only when he was in retirement.
How do you know what fulfills you? Here’s an exercise to try: Close your eyes and imagine a time where life felt at its peak, where everything was just as it should be in life. After you come up with that vision, answer the following questions:
Where were you?
Who were you with?
What were you doing?
How did you feel?
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