Member Blogs

In July 2005 I entered the world of a working mom.  Although it had its challenges, life seemed mostly under control. (Which is very important when two control freaks in-breed)  But all of that changed, when my second child was born. The first year was truly difficult with the nursing, pumping, working, sleep training, new big boy bed, and all of the normal things that come with a 21-month age split.  And thus, I started to live a life where I felt I was swimming up stream. After the first year, things weren’t getting easier and I started to wonder if those who told me “The age split gets easier after the first year” were suffering from early onset of Alzheimer’s.  It was changing, but it definitely wasn’t getting any easier!   Keep in mind, I am married to a husband who pulls more than his fair share, my parents and younger sister live nearby, I landed a well paying job when I was laid off from a miserable job, I live in a 2300 sq ft house with equity and have good neighbors.  So why was my life such a chore?  Why was it sooooo hard?!  Both parents working full time, with a high -spirited 4-year-old boy, and a newly independent 2-year-old girl isn’t exactly a walk in the park, but seriously!  So many others have it so much worse.  I now seemed to operate in this perpetual state of longing for something different, and I didn’t see it ending.  This was even more frustrating because I’ve always considered myself a student of positive thinking (and "The Secret” philosophy before it was labeled “The secret”), so how could I have landed in this place?  Somehow I wanted to escape my life where work often played the role of the villain.

When I hit a pinnacle of work and home stress, I snapped. I couldn’t live like this forever and there had to be an answer beyond cutting our family income by 65%.   I reached into my bag of personal growth books and found the answer by listening to an Ekhart Tolle web cast. Through this journey I realized I had officially created the “my life is so hard being a working mom” story. Furthermore, I was living in every moment but the one right in front of me.  It hit me like a ton of bricks. ”THAT is NOT my story!”   “I am not THAT person!”   Clearly there was only one thing to do, create a new one.  It had to be truthful, yet positive.

 “Doing a lot and enjoying the moments more and more every day” seemed to fit the criteria and became my mantra and the answer to the infamous “how are things going” question.  My new journey began and I learned how to live in the present moment. I noticed the funny conversations between my kids. I noticed their different kinds of laughter. I notice how big the moon looks if there is a layer of fog, and I heard the humming sounds my kitchen makes.  I noticed the little dirty dog smells my kids come home with.  I noticed a new sign on my morning commute and how my dog still looks young even though here eyes are starting to get clouded.  And, occasionally I even remembered to stop rushing to the next commitment and sit down for an extra few minutes to just be there.