A recently reformed single mom here. I got married a year ago Monday and am happy about it, I guess, but, I still felt the urge to come in here and check the single moms out.
I was a single mom 'officially' from 18 months to 3 1/4 years, but, honestly, even when his Dad and I lived together I was doing most things on my own, but, with occasional help from his mom and sisters.
Growing up with a single Mom of my own, I saw how she'd sort of get looked down on, or not taken seriously because she wasn't married (she married after I graduated high school, so we wouldn't have to deal with the name thing).
BUT, one thing I discovered after I became a 'SINGLE MOM'... I would say it with pride! It wasn't bluffing or puffing myself up... I was really
and honestly proud
to declare without a doubt that I was a single parent. My son was happy, healthy, on par with his classmates at the daycare center, etc. I liked that I could prove that I was the one parenting him and that I didn't need his loser, self-centered father at all.
Unfortunately, once I got engaged, his father demanded more involvement. That's been nothing but a pain for myself and my husband... and I cringe when my little angel comes back from daddy's hyped up on candy and soda, in yesterday's clothes and spilling drinks because the moron still gives him a sippy cup.
I say that a child can be a success no matter their family structure growing up. I firmly believe that. My sister and I turned out pretty darned well; happy, and loving, and well-adjusted.
I am thrilled to have my husband as an influence on my son, and think it will do him good. But, I did not introduce them until I was engaged (a year and a half before we married). I didn't want him to meet and get attached and feel rejected (like I had during childhood too many times to count). I know traditional dating would have gone out the window with that, but, my husband (not all
Londoners are pigs!
) and I had worked with one another online for years and grew most of our relationship that way, and via the telephone after the little one went to bed. It worked for us.
I feel I'm babbling now, so I'll stop. It's obvious that single Moms are NOT alone out there... oh yeah, and we always feel guilty about something, but, comfort ourselves that we're doing the best we can for our little angels.