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No nap in daycare

Ok, it's official - my daughter will not sleep in daycare. It's her 8th week, and she is not taking naps - took a few earlier on, but none for a while. She is 3 but still really needs them - lack of them causes her to be hyper, whiny, and generally unhappy. The afternoons are tough. We've tried lots of things - rewards for naps, talking to her about it, nothing works. She is not the most flexible kid so going from sleeping in her bed in a dark room that is quiet to sleeping on a mat on the floor next to a bunch of kids is not something she is doing well.

Anyone else btdt? Any ideas? Trying to think how this will seem like a small issue in a few years, but it's certainly giving us trouble now

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Nataly on 15th August 2007
I don't have any experience with this specific topic but maybe just "resting" would be enough? Is she willing to lie down and look at a book? What about some music? Do you have a music player with headphones? Maybe if she listened to soft, quiet music she would get sleepy? And I agree, naptimes are an important issue in our house (along with bedtimes!).

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Lisa R.(dirtydiapersyndrome) on 16th August 2007
What are the daycare workings doing to encourage napping, Nataly? Are they just saying, "oh well, she won't sleep" or are they actively addressing the issue?

I'm sure she does, but I'll ask anyway: does she have special "loveys" for nap a daycare? Her own blankie to snuggle into? Maybe you could send in a pillow so that it would smell more like home?

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kimberly on 16th August 2007
I was there a couple of years ago. My son was ready to give up naps, and I really didn't want him to nap, because then it was really hard to get him to sleep at night. But, daycare policy was that the kids had a scheduled nap time each day, and my son was keeping up some others.

For a few days, they had him sit in the front office with the director, but he talked too much, so that didn't work. Most days, I think he laid on his mat and "rested", and some days, they gave him a coloring book and some crayons. One of the teachers suggested that we send a quiet activity for him to do during that time, but check with your child's teacher before doing that.

One day, my son just started napping again at school. He must have hit a growth spurt or something. I hope that happens for you!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by alanaransley on 16th August 2007
That's the thing - at home, she has her music, her bed - she is very particular (I know, I know, my fault - but she was such a terrible sleeper as a baby that I did whatever I could to help her.) I haven't thought about headphones - that's an idea! And she does bring her favorite sleep blanket and dog with her... The daycare teachers try to pat her back, read to her - not working, unfortunately.

I wouldn't mind her not sleeping and just resting, but it's really causing her to be very hyper and then have a total meltdown later in the afternoon. People keep telling me she may still get used to it and sleep - she has been there 2 months - but I am not sure

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Nataly on 16th August 2007
If she hasn't caved through sheer exhaustion in two months, she likely won't "get used to it". She will, of course, eventually outgrow her need for a nap, but I can understand that you don't want to let her go exhausted and sleep-deprived until then!

Is there any way she can have a private sleep room, until she adjusts? (I assume it's logistically unlikely, but one can dream...)

It sounds like the staff and you are doing all they can. She's being given the opportunity and the encouragement. Beyond that, you can't, bar drugging the child, force her to sleep. They pat her back, they read to her. Have they tried boring her into submission? As in, utterly ignoring her? (If she gets rowdy when ignored, they could put her cot right by their chair as they sit in the room. A light tap of a toe on the cot, with no eye contact, could be sufficient reminder without the stimulation of attention.) Not a kick, just a tap (because it's easier to do it with your toe when you're in a chair than bend over and do it with your hand - or maybe that's just me, because I'm old and my back is creaky...)

I have also found that insisting that they lie on their stomach can help a reluctant sleeper.

It's way harder to fidget yourself awake (feet waving in the air, all sorts of hand play) if you're on your stomach.

At three, she needs about 11 - 14 hours per day, night sleep and naps combined. How much does she get when she naps? If it's normally 12 hours, could she get that in one long sleep at night? I understand it might not be feasible. It would likely require a 6:30 bedtime, and just having dinner after daycare could have her up too late for that. But it is a thought.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by MaryP on 16th August 2007
My 3 year old is going though the same thing! The teachers andi tried different things and nothing seemed to work. So tried getting her up earlier everyday. I just shifted my schedule an hour early and its kinda nice bc i get another hour with her in the evening. BUt she is tired by the time it is nap time at school and has starting nappng again. good luck

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Shama_Mama on 26th October 2007
I had the same problem with my son. I had to make sure that I made him nap at the same time the daycare center napped. Also, I had him nap at home on the weekends on the carpeted floor and on his nap mat.- he has a Royal. He is such a creature of habit. It took a few weeks but don't give up.

I agree with MaryP She needs her nap.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Cyndi on 16th February 2009