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  • Does anyone have any good ideas in the arena of dating? Now that my daughter is 16 months old, i finally feel like i have a little breathing room to be able to focus on me (a little tiny bit). My daughter's father is -- unbelievably -- already ENGAGED to someone and I'm not even seeing anyone. Not that it's a competition, but i feel like it's time.. However, I'm having a hard time at it. I've tried online dating (not terribly successful so far..) and I've gone to single parent groups (men dont seem to define themselves this way mostly..i think) and again, no real luck. I work 10hours a day, so there's not a whole lot of time really. Just wondering if anyone had any advice, ideas, cute brothers/friends in nyc etc. THANKS!!
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by brammy on 3rd September 2007
  • I've been single for many years now and after a brief return to the dating world I decided it is not for me. My children are 10 and 7 years old. Between them, managing the house and my career, and care taking relationships with friends and families, I feel like I have an exceptionally full life already. Date if you feel ready, don't date if you aren't. Don't feel pressure to be in a relationship simply because it is what our society expects of us. Society is silly in that regard if you ask me.

    If you do decide you want to stick with dating. Good luck! It takes time and patience and MUCH weeding through idiots. I would recommend online dating. It seems to be the easiest.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by KathyHowe on 4th September 2007
  • Kathy, will you be my new BFF? That is totally my attitude towards the whole thing. I really don't care if the Ark sails without me, I'm a happy unicorn, frolicking in the mist.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kimberly on 5th September 2007
  • Absolutely, Kimberly!

    We'll build our own ark and on it "mist" is code for something fruity and chilled with an umbrella poking out the top.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by KathyHowe on 5th September 2007
  • Brammy - I thought of another thing besides online dating. I think it is called something like "It's just lunch". It's a dating service that matches you with people based on your interview with them. Then they hook you up on lunch dates. That might be a little easier for your schedule since it wouldn't likely require you to find a babysitter!
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by KathyHowe on 5th September 2007
  • Thanks Kathy!
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by brammy on 5th September 2007
  • Hi! I agree with the other posts...sometimes dating is just hard work! I was single for 5 years and tried different ways of meeting people. Online dating was ok but it was work to keep up with the messages and phone calls and weeding out the duds..I did meet a few great guys that way though. I know a number of women who met their husbands online...chatting with people about a common interest is also a good way to go. My husband and I met at work...something that I said was against my policy! But it was love at first site...ok, I'm a sappy romantic! When you stop looking, that's when you find the good ones
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Lisa R.(dirtydiapersyndrome) on 5th September 2007
  • Hi Brammy,

    I think I know how you feel, my ex-husband is seeing someone else and our divorce isn't even final. Makes me feel like I was merely a speed bump in his life and now he's on his way. Wish I could go on that easily. I'm jealous, but then again who wants to be that shallow? I know its not supposed to be a competition but it feels like whoever moves on and finds happiness elsewhere first, wins. Its almost like I have to prove that I can be happier without him. I can't help feeling that if only I could meet Mr. Wonderful, that would really be sticking it to my ex. Isn't being happy and moving on the best revenge you can have? I'm not ready to date as long as I'm trying to prove something to my ex I guess..

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by cindyloohoo on 5th September 2007
  • Brammy --

    I understand where you are coming from.

    I work as a Love Coach and authored two books for singles, How to Meet a Mensch in NY and How to Marry a Mensch. You might want to check out my website for details,, and perhaps some of the advice there might resonate with you. I am also available for private consultations.

    One of the things I'm a fan of is doing volunteer work for a cause you embrace and/or attending fundraiser events. If you want to meet a mensch (decent person), that is one way to do good and socialize at the same time.


    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Robin Gorman Newman on 7th September 2007
  • A friend of mine has tried eHarmony and other sites. You just need to be patient.... Another great thing that I would recommend - musical chairs drinks. You get to spend 3 min with each of 10 guys and then fill out a form to specify which guys you thought you had a connection with. If the same guys pick you - it's a match. You can't learn a ton about a guy in 3 min but at least you get a feeling if you want to go on a date with him. So you can end up getting a few dates from 30 min rotation!
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Victoria on 12th September 2007

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