I always appreciate the wisdom I find here.
My biggest argument for having another child (besides BECAUSE I WANT ONE!) is so that our son can have a sibling. I may have had a hard time with my sister growing up, but I am so thankful that I have her in my life as an adult. I want my son's potential children to have an Aunt/Uncle and the chance for cousins. I want there to be family for him when we are gone. I also really like the idea that a sibling can help take the pressure off of a child from their parents. I think that's important.
I sometimes feel silly or selfish saying that I want a sibling for Cole. It sort of sounds like I'm saying I want to get a puppy so our puppy won't be lonely... you know what I mean? But I've more-or-less gotten past that and realized that they will be siblings for each other, no matter who came first.
My husband is pretty set against it. He doesn't feel the need that I do. He never felt the need to have our son, either. He would have been happy to live without children (or so he thinks). Now that Cole is here he loves him to pieces, as he would love another child if we let one come into our lives. He is selfishly fearful of another year (or so) of sleepless nights and difficulties in our relationship. He is afraid of the extra expense and responsibility. I understand his fears, but I also feel that a year of our life is nothing for the life of our child. I would gladly give it and more. I can't seem to make him understand. He's a good and loving person, and on most things we see totally eye-to-eye. Not here, apparently.
I am sure that this is what I want. I have told him that it's not a matter of if, but when. I'd like to start trying this year. He's enjoying our relative stability, but I'd like to get the unstable years out of the way by taking advantage of our stability to have another child now.
We have both of our families in this town. We have a good and reliable support network. If we stumble I know for sure they'd be there to help us back on our feet.
I agree that there's no really good time to have a child. It wasn't a good time when we had Cole, but we made it work and it was fine. I agree that if we keep waiting for that ideal moment that we will never have another.
I guess I'm just thinking out loud here. Thanks for all of your thoughts.