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How did you decide how many children to have?

  • My husband wants to have another child. I am not so sure. With both of us working full time outside the home, I feel like we should focus everything on her. I am getting older, so I feel some pressure to decide now. How did you decide how many children to have?
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by ramseyquipp on 20th March 2008
  • I have one right now. I almost feel that I don't want a second because we're in the same position. We both work full time but we also both are able to make it home for lunch (an hour apart) so one of us is actually with her MOST of the day. We are fortunate that my mom is able to care for her in our home while we're gone.

    I, on the other hand, want a second because I am an only. I don't have a sister or brother, neices or nephews. I have cousins, lots of cousins. I always wanted to have a sibling of my own so I want my daughter to have one. Even if we wait until she's almost 4 to try for another one, I do want one.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by on 20th March 2008
  • yup, same position too! we will probably go for one more in the next year or so... mostly its a financial decision weighing with the thought that i really want our boy to have a sibling
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 20th March 2008
  • We had 2, both of us work full time and our girls are older and very busy. and then at 41 I had a surprise. We now have 3 lovely daughters. While my first two were very planned and while it is a challenge financially, the love of siblings and it is busy, but our family is wonderful. It is stressful at times and I am worried about money and the future but in the end this is right for us.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by maryellen on 20th March 2008
  • I never dreamed I would have 4...but I do

    After my son was born it took almost 3 years before we even thought about another one as we had so much fun with him and wanted to be able to give him everything. Then we finally decided to try again...and BOOM...TWINS!!! After that, we loved the idea of the big family and quickly added another (our last though)!

    Things are a tad hectic right now, but watching siblings interact makes my heart melt (they do fight, but they are also play together wonderfully) and I am so looking forward to big happy, chatty, busy Thanksgiving tables in the future

    I think you have to just "go with the flow" and do whats right for you.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Linda on 20th March 2008
  • I have 4, aged 7 and under plus my teen sister who has lived with us for nearly two years now.

    Making the leap form 1 to 2 is the hardest... once you have two... you can do anything! Seriously... it changes all the dynamics to go from an only to a second. It's WELL worth it.

    Our close friends are VERY career driven, she has a PhD and he a Masters. They work in research and have crazy busy schedules. We went to lunch the other day with them and we talked alot about how the world was going since the birth of Baby 2. Their little guys are 1 and 3 now... while they are both still work focused, they are also very family focused and are THRILLED with what they see the boys contributing to each others growth. While they questioned their busy world and having a second child... they are loving it and glad the boys have a sibling to share with.

    You have to do what's right for your family... remember, you can do anything if you desire it enough! Life will get more hectic... but your rewards will also double.

    Good Luck!
  • My husband only wanted one. My husband is an only child himself. He said he never missed having a sibling and thought being an only child was awesome!

    I on the other hand have a sister and can't imagine my life with out her. Sure growing up there were days I wished she would go away every now and then..LOL!

    When my son was born and born sick my husband was a deer caught in headlights! I myself was riding in the front grill too! We were both so scared to have another. There was a chance the next child would be born with the same thing.

    I always knew I wanted a second child. I wanted my son to have a sibling. I know what that's like. I knew it would be worth it what ever the outcome.

    It took some convincing and my husband was willing.

    I know have a DS and DD. I am always tired...always crazy in love...always tired(oh did I say that already?) but love every single day I spend with my kids. I love to watch them laugh together, tease each other and take toy aways from one another.

    Yes, Mommy has to work today said it best! You can do anything if you so desire it. Life does indeed get more hectic but for some reason it is an awesome kind of hectic.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by on 21st March 2008
  • We have one. I think we're done. For one thing, we're both in our 40s and while it's possible to have another, it's harder with more risk. And my husband is just finishing graduate school and starting to look for a job. And we'll probably relocate for that job. So unless I want to move while pregnant and over 40, a baby is not a great idea right now. Finally, Pidge is 5. The thought of doing diapers and sleepless nights and all that again is daunting.

    Pidge lobbies hard for a sibling. She's prefer older, but she'll take younger. Ah, the joys of not really understanding how reproduction works! I'm more open to adoption/fostering than my husband, but again, it won't happen for at least another year. I guess we'll just see.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Jenns on 21st March 2008
  • We have five. The first three came into my life pre-made a bout eight years ago (they're 14, 12, and 9 1/2 now); the little two (3 and 1) are from scratch.

    Financially, it's a stretch, I'll admit. Emotionally, physically, sometimes it's exhausting. But I can't imagine my life without all of them.

    I'm not sure that there ever is a perfect time to have another baby, but I think the real question you have to ask yourself is, "would I regret it if I didn't?" Then act accordingly...
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse on 21st March 2008
  • We still haven't decided on a hard and fast number. I always imagined life with 2-3 kids. My husband and I have jokingly tossed around the number 4 since we have four baby names picked out..hahaha. I grew up in a family of 4 and he grew up in a family of three. I guess we just have a feeling that we'll know when our family is complete. I have friends who have talked about always feeling like a family member was missing until they had their last child. I love Lylah's advice. I try and ask myself that whenever I have a big decision to make. My (not so) sage advice is to go with your gut...even if it's scary.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by mamajama on 21st March 2008

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