What do you think about the title working mom, stay at home mom or work from home mom?Subscribe
Recently I was at a school event when one of the mom's asked me how my company was going ( I own www.motherhoodincorporated.com) when a mother I did not know asked me what I did.
When I told her I employ moms who want to work from home doing all sorts of administrative and management jobs, she asked if I had an office. I said that I worked out of my home.
Oh, so you don't really work, she said - like I was somehow not "working" as much as she did at a nationally based company.
I didn't know what to say. I wanted to say I probably make more than you and have more time for my kids, but I put that cat down.
Don't we all work? Some of my moms work only 2-3 hours a week for my company. Some moms work 20 hours a week. Some of my moms have a full time job in an office and moonlight for me? Some of my moms work for me only in the summer when they are not teaching.
I work full time in an office in my home where I pay half the mortgage on the house. I know this mom was just being $^@, but it made me think about the phrases we use today:
stay at home mom
work at home mom
We all work too many hours for too little pay. Period.
I think that the next time someone askes me if I work, I am going to answer her with, "yes, I do -- too much!"
What a shame that we have to defend these choices to each other.
I do think each category faces unique challenges, so they are not all the same. But I wish we could stop trying to rate them.
We are all at fault. As working moms, we want extra credit for doing it all, and as stay at home moms we want extra credit for giving up something.
I've been thinking about things like this a lot lately -- for me, the bottom line is that if you're working, you're a working mom.
Good for you for putting that cat down (and awesome, awesome phrase by the way). "So you don't really work." Honestly? No, what we really don't do is sleep much. But we definitely work.
Some people just don't have a clue. I should say most people have not a clue at all. I tell ya what- I work at my "real" job, (as some would say) on MTW and work from home the rest of the week. On MTW, I work 1000 times quicker and more efficient than the rest of my coworkers and I also skip lunch, when the rest of them are gone to lunch for 1-1.5 hours. Why? Because I have to cram a week of work into 3 days, I want to get out of there on time, meaning, after 8 hours, so I can get home for dinner and spend a couple hours with my kids before they go to bed, finally, I need to get all the work done *just in case* I get a call saying "come get the kids, they are sick". I've had this arrangement for the last 3+ years, and, last Wednesday as I was leaving, 3 people said as I walked out "Bye Meg- must be rough only working PT". Yeah well, I only get paid for 3 days/week too-Seriously people, it is getting so old.
I don't think they will ever get a clue, and that is sad. We are so under-valued.
I think every mom is a working mom, whether you receive a paycheck or not. Raising children is a job, even if in the eyes of society it isn't. I do know moms that DON'T WORK whatsoever. They let their kids with grandma or a sister while they go off everyday with their friends collecting welfare and only spend time with their kids when it's convenient for THEM. I work full time outside of my home but I don't feel I work any more/less than a stay at home mom. We just simply have different tasks to do throughout the day. A good bit of my household chores get neglected because of the time I spend away from my daughter. When I'm home, I just want to spend it with her and not doing the laundry and dishes every single day. I'd love to do the stay at home mom thing for a few years until my daughter starts school. I make the most money though so it would be financially impossible.Flag as inappropriate Posted by on 15th April 2008
I think it's crazy to think that working form home isn't "real" work. I work 50+ hours a week outside of the home. There are the rare occassions that my son is sick or has an appointment and I attempt to do some work at home. For me, it is 10 times harder to work at home with children. It is much easier to get work done in the quiet of an office hours away from your household duties.
I applaud those moms who can work from home. I just wish that there wasn't such a need to label. Who cares what everyone else does anyway? We should all just be worried about doing what is best for our own families and let others go about their lives.
I am a Mother first... and that is the most important job in the world. Some people define themselves purely by their career choice. I am proud to be a WAHM. And those who don't agree can go fly a kite. Just being a Mother takes nearly every ounce of energy I have... working is a few moments of MY TIME.
Good for you for that response!
I've faced some of this when I quit my corporate job -- where I worked in an office -- and started a company which I run from home, with a team which works from their homes all over the country a lot of the time. (Now you all know that I run Work It, Mom! in my pajamas. Well, most days I get nicely dressed. But not all days
I never get why it matters where one works -- between the Internet and phone you can get anything done anywhere!
I find in most cases people that do not know how to work a keyboard and the internet have no clue how much work we WAHM moms do. It takes a lot of time, commitment and dedication to work from home. It's actually harder for me to work from home than an office. I find myself working all the time. It's hard when you have your screaming little one crying etc.. I am pulling off two jobs in one day and it continues through the night.
The internet is a wonderful thing. I can take my kids in the backyard and work while they play.Flag as inappropriate Posted by on 16th April 2008
These titles make me cringe, not for the actual words themselves but for the way in which they are used. Everyone works, everyone is busy and once the world realizes these facts we can get on to being friends with each other. The snide comments, rolling eyes and questioning looks can stop and we can just appreciate each other for the women we are ~ that's a beautiful thing.