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How much time is enough?

  • I work outside the home and my boss was nice enough to allow me to change my hours to 6:00-2:30, so I can spend more time with my daughter. I am still trying to spend every waking moment I am not at work with her. (She is 10 months.) I am driving my husband crazy. My mom was a stay at home mom and I think my daughter will miss out on so much with family being at daycare. How much time with a child is enough? Or too much? I don't want to create problems for her due to my need to be with her. Thanks for your advice.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by ramseyquipp on Monday
  • Your daughter will be fine and you are setting an example of hard working mom who loves her daughter. It's the quality time that counts. Make the most of your time with her and she will flourish with you and at daycare.

    I know it's a hard emotion to handle at times but I think daycare is good thing. They get to be with other kids and they love it. Sometimes they get bored with us and prefer other kids...even at 10 months.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by on Monday
  • I agree with momof2lovelies, and I sympathise with what you are going through right now -- I worried about the same things when we decided to use daycare. But think about it: When you're home with your kids as they get older, how much time do you spend trying to take them to places where they can socialize with other kids? Especially once they hit 2 and 3 years old, the answer for most people is "a lot." So, daycare is taking care of that for you.

    She will not be missing out on family time -- you will be making a huge effort to make sure of that, because you'll be focused on making family time QUALITY time!

    It will be OK.
  • Thank you for your support!
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by ramseyquipp on Monday
  • I hear you. It's one of those tough things that all working moms have to work through. But she will be fine. She will be happy and healthy, and you will be providing a great example to her. She will learn so much at daycare, and she will enjoy her time with you all the more.

    Don't forget about your husband, though. You need to maintain a healthy relationship with him too!

    You are a good mom. Don't ever doubt it!
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mom2Rylie on 4th June 2008
  • It's a hard, hard decision..and harder still to hand over your baby to a provider! I agree with the responses--your daughter will be engaged, she'll be entertained, socialized, well fed and well cared for. My son missed daycare when he couldn't go and he was stuck at home!

    I agree with all the comments that she won't be missing out on family time--she needs some me time too! You'll be much more focused when you have time with her. There are no rules about how much time we should/shouldn't spend with our kids--how you structure your days has to work for both of you, and only for you. Don't compare yourself to your mom or other moms, cuz your life is not the same as theirs!
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by OliveMartini on 5th June 2008
  • To put another perspective into this discussion, I am with my daughter basically 24/7, but it's mostly mundane activity. No matter what your profession is (even if you're a homemaker), you don't just continually spend "quality time" with your one can do that. Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not planning fun activities all the time. Our outtings are not as plentiful as I'd like them to be, and babyjama spends more time entertaining herself than I'd like...what I'm trying to say is that *all moms feel guilty*. I think that to some extent guilt is a good mechanism to allow us to check in with ourselves and make the right choices for our families...but we have to be reasonable about our abilities as well. I hope you're finding what works for your family, and cutting yourself a little slack.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by mamajama on 5th June 2008

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