Group Discussions

self righteous stay at home moms

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  I just got some really nasty comments on my blog about WOTH. Of course they were anonymous. I know that I shouldn't let it bother me, but the truth is that it really does. It's hard to maintain my self confidence when there is someone out there intent on bashing me. Maybe I shouldn't put myself out there by even having a public blog? But I like having a place to post my thoughts and updates for my actual friends and family to read. I shouldn't let this vicious troll run me off my own territory. But, I am seriously hurting for some self confidence right now.
  
  
  
  This is what I posted in response:
  
  
  
  Why does it matter to anyone else what choices I make for my family? Why are some stay-at-home-moms so insecure that they feel the need to judge other moms who work outside the home? It's really pathetic that they can't just be happy with their own choices and allow other women to be happy with theirs. I feel sorry for them, actually.
  
  
  
  Every mother questions herself. Every mother (hopefully) wonders if she is doing every thing possible to raise her children to be happy and healthy. (My daughter is both.) It's this self-reflection and occasional questioning of ourselves that actually ensures that we are good moms. I believe in giving the benefit of the doubt--assuming the best about a mom, that she is a diligent and concerned mother. Until something obviously proves otherwise.
  
  
  
  It's too bad that some women are so insecure and judgemental that they would have to search out and leave anonymous comments on another mom's blog that are intended to invoke guilt and make her feel badly about her mothering choices. Maybe someday women like that can grow up and learn that there are other valid choices in life besides theirs.

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mom2Rylie on 4th June 2008
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  People who do such things are, imho, secretly jealous and they want to bring you DOWN to their level because they're too small to rise to yours.
  
  
  
  As my mother used to say, consider the source and then file it where it belongs.

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by JDaffron on 4th June 2008
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  Don't let the trolls get to you -- at least, not to the extent that you end up taking down your blog because of them. You might want to look into sitemeter.com -- it's free, and it lets you see information (location, outclicks, comments, etc). about the people who visit your blog...

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse on 4th June 2008
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  Oh, thanks Lylah! I actually do have sitemeter, but I never thought to use it to track down the troll! Ha ha. Not sure what I could do about her anyway, but it might be interesting to see if it's who I suspect it is...
  
  
  
  And thank you so much for the comment. It lifted my spirits.
  
  --Robyn

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mom2Rylie on 4th June 2008
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  I typically don't get those types of comments, but I do get so much soliciting from WAHMs that want me to join their business (ultimately making THEM more money) and I just get annoyed. There's no way I can make what I do now steadily, sitting at home calling people. I need to be able to count on the income, not worry about how much crap I sell to people (that don't even really NEED IT) every day.
  
  
  
  I do get snide remarks from SAHMs like 'Can't you guys afford for you to stay home?' and things like that. As if it's their business! No we can't, so stop making me feel worse than I do on my own.

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by Marcia on 4th June 2008
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  Well, I just checked and there were more hateful comments. I don't know what I have done to deserve this. I just had to go to the bathroom so I wouldn't be crying at my desk. I'm sure that would make this woman very happy to know.
  
  
  
  www.therealrobyn.blogspot.com

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mom2Rylie on 4th June 2008
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  Forget it. I just made my blog private. I don't need this kind of crap.

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mom2Rylie on 4th June 2008
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  You know, trolls can be male or female. And this person most definitely qualifies as a troll. The guestbook on my webstie underwent a MAJOR spam attack about 2 years ago, so much so that I had to take it down. I'm just now getting another one to put in its place. Some people have no conscience.

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by JDaffron on 4th June 2008
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  Thanks for the comment, JDaffron (I assume "JD" is you?). Anyway, it made me feel better.
  
  
  
  Moms really should stick together no matter what their working sitch is!

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mom2Rylie on 5th June 2008
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  Aw, man. Working outside the home makes us feel guilty enough. I don't know what your original post was, but I'm pretty sure that any Momma worth a darn shouldn't be posting nasty stuff anyway. Hey, look at it this way - at least people read your blog...!

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by MortonPixie on 5th June 2008