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New mom loneliness

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  • I am 30 years old and have wanted children for a very long time, and have wanted to be a stay at home mom. Now I have a daughter who is 3.5 months old, and I am SO lonely. She smiles and we play, but I count the hours until my husband comes home from work, and I count the days until visits with family. I am just so lonely, the days seem to drag on. I go back to work in 2.5 months, and I wish that I wasn't looking forward to it, but I am... anyone feel like me?
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by JJJACK on 4th May 2009
  • awww JJJACK - i felt that way too, and was SO HAPPY to go back to work. and realized that i dont feel guilty at all! if i had had a network at home where i could be around other people i probably would have been happier for a while, but my brain just needs 'work'. but trust me, you are normal and it's ok :)

    also, it gets exponentially easier about every 3-6 months. i just wish someone had told me that. At one year i felt like a weight had been lifted and it was all going to be ok, so hang in there - sleep helps too lol
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 4th May 2009
  • I was exactly the same way. I was home with my daughter for 5 months before I had to go back to work, and those were the longest of my life. I love my daughter and she was, for the most part, a very good baby. I was just lonely.
    I did all kinds of crazy things to get out and around people. Went shopping and chatted up people at the store, went to a playground (this is with the 2 month old who was born in November, and I live in Jersey, not Florida). I joined MOMS club, which was mostly moms of toddlers and preschoolers, and went to "playdates" for older children, just to have people to talk to. I also posted on my daughter's birth board on pregnancy.org, and those girls were nice to 'talk' to as well.
    I thought I had baby blues or mild PPD, I was so lonely and sad about being all alone. (And let's face it, until about 5-6 months, they're not exactly what you'd call companionable. They're beautiful and fun, but they're newborns!) I never resented my husband (or my daughter, really) but I probably drove him nuts every day when he got home and all I wanted to do was go somewhere again. When I went back to work, that funk just up and lifted. You can be a great mom and be a working mom, who loves to be around people and be fulfilled by being out in the world. I'd say find a group, even if you don't quite belong in it with such a young child, and do as much stuff "for you" as you can. And hang in there. Oh, and when someone asks me if I miss those days when I was home with her, I honestly say, "Nope, now is better." Good luck.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Meg D. on 12th May 2009

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