Group Discussions

new member struggling with leaving my daughter

I am a professional full time working mom who is struggling with a lot of pain over leaving our daughter in someone else's care. Our daughter has been home with a nanny until now but just started daycare yesterday. I felt slightly better when she was at home being cared for but either way I do not like that I have to work and leave her. I want to be the one to raise her full time and enjoy all the wonderful things she does all day. I have been working for some time now and thought that this would get easier but it hasn't. I am finding this excruciating.

I know that some women do not feel this way in leaving their children, but for those of you who find it difficult to leave your child every day, how are you doing it? I am trying to make peace with this and it just isn't happening. My saving grace has been that I sometimes have some flexibility with my job to take some time off to spend with my daugther so I take advantage of that when I can. But that also typically only makes me wish that I had more time with her.

I am in desperate need of some advice from other working moms who have dealt with similar struggles.

Thanks in advance for any responses.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by busymomwife7 on 2nd July 2009
I am struggling with this too busymomwife7. I have nothing to offer as for advice except, you can do what I've been doing. Which is start researching your stay-at-home but still bring in an income options. I, myself, have been too chicken to take the plunge and either start my own business or try to do the other work at home options. Nothing is guaranteed like the income that I have now and that's what has me worried. If you'd like to talk or vent, Im going through this every day over my son too. Message me if you need to.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by daisygirl48161 on 23rd July 2009
Lean on other working moms! We have all been there and your feelings are normal. Even though your daughter's care giver won't do everything exactly the way you would, your daughter will learn things in day care that she won't learn at home.

Follow your heart.........

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Lucky Mama on 30th July 2009
I am there with you girls. I hate it too. all I think about at work is how I can work our finances out to where I can stay home. I also can not wait for my next day off with her. I count down the days!! I don't know how to make it easier. My daughter is with my sister so I am very blessed but I still hate that I do not get to experience all of her firsts not to mention how guilty I feel that she may feel that I am not as important to her as money....i know she is way to young to know but I still worry about it. That is why I joined this group so that I could get some ideas or at least talk to others about it.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by sassystone on 10th November 2009
I am in the same boat. I had a great boss who allowed me to work from home for the first year after my daughter was born. But then I had to go back into the office full time and it killed me. I could never get over letting someone else raise my baby girl. I have been very fortunate to have a boss who agreed to let me go part time and even work from home on occasion, but it still eats at my heart every time I take her to daycare. I looked around to find a full-time at home job, but its a tough search. I was able to find a great home based business that I'm hoping will become my saving grace. It's actually working out for me so far because there are no parties that I have to have. I'm cutting back to 2 days at the office and working hard to bring this business up and running so that I soon I won't have to take my baby back to daycare. I'm not sure it ever gets easier to leave her with someone else, although I do agree that she does learn some good things at day care...along with a number of not so good things. Hang in there and pray and know that either way, your baby will still love you best and will learn most from your example! At least that's what I believe and tell myself every day!!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by AtHomeMom2010 on 10th December 2009