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Manners and playdates - need some advice

  • My daughter had a friend over for a playdate. They had a snack and then my daughter's friend got up and ran out of the kitchen, back to the playroom. My daughter followed but I called her back and told her that we don't just run off like that and that she needs to clear her plate and say thank you.

    She gave me this puzzled look, which I think asked why I wasn't making her friend do the same. She cleared her plate and said thank you, and then ran off to play.

    I wouldn't think of disciplining another child or teaching them manners, so that wasn't a question for me. What I did wonder about is whether I acted as an overly strict and annoying mom by not just letting my daughter run off to play with her friend... and teaching her manners at another time.

    Curious what you guys would do...
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Nataly on 12th December 2010
  • In our home our rules apply to not only our children but their friends too. We usually will make them aware of all the rules right away. I don't think you were acting as an overly strict mom at all. Manners are taught any time you can, and perhaps next time you can let her friend know when she comes to play again. You are doing a great job, Mom :)
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Dr.Mommy on 1st January 2011
  • I agree that you weren't being overly strict. Why should your house rules be suspended just because your daughter has a guest? Maybe her friend will even learn by your daughter's example. I know my 3-year-old daughter loves to mimic her friends' behaviors, which isn't necessarily always a good thing, but in a situation like the one you describe, that would be a positive outcome to me.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by jengray on 3rd January 2011
  • I would have let her go and talk to my daughter afterwards.

    On the reverse side, before my kids go on a playdate, I have a talk with them about their manners. Actually, I'm quite frank with them--if they do not use their manners, why would the friend's mom want them back again???
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mothers Workbook on 6th January 2011

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