Mom Interviews

Three things surprised me: how angry some mothers were (like the essay “I Hate Everybody”), how funny others stories were (motherhood is really a comedy), and how eager every mom was to tell her story. Every mother has a great story about how she combines (or chooses not to combine) working and raising children.

So many factors! First, we live in a fascinating time in a country where traditional gender roles are up for grabs. As a kid with a very smart, well-educated stay-at-home mom and a father who loved his work, I knew early on that I wanted to combine the best of my father’s and mother’s worlds. I wanted to work and be very involved in my children’s lives. My mom was a feminist and I had many teachers who were encouraging of girls, so I was raised thinking of course I could do it all. The world was open to me in many ways it had not been for women before me.

Another key element for me was my failed first marriage to a man who physically abused me. Fortunately we did not have children. When the marriage ended, I learned the importance of keeping my financial independence, and the key message that there is zero value in being a so-called “perfect wife”: selfless, self-sacrificing and submissive. And I learned to look for a man who was understanding and supportive of me and my long term goals to combine work and family.

Finally, my education at Harvard College and Wharton Business School were invaluable. Especially as a woman, these educational credentials meant I rarely faced assumptions that I was less capable than male peers. I did my time at several wonderful companies including Johnson & Johnson and The Washington Post. This work paid off because now I have a great deal more choices about how and when to work then I could have ever imagined – and this freedom allows me to spend more time with my three children without giving up work that I love.