Ugh, Whoa is me. Does anyone hear the violins playing in the background? It's playing, "Cry Me a River," " I Feel So Lonely," "Send In the Clowns." I think you get it. Feel free to fill in the blanks with whatever feel sorry for yourself song you can think of. Ever have one of these days? Well, I'm having one.
The kind where you want to do the following:
- Pull the covers over your head and never get out of bed in the morning.
- Stay in your PJs and robe and cry all day long.
- Pack your bags and leave the house for at least 2 weeks by yourself.
- Or better yet, book a flight to nowhere and never come back home.
- Have an affair or something taboo you've never done before.
- Yell and scream and hit the pillow (or your husband) which ever is closest.
- Eat an entire cake, gallon of chocolate ice cream, bag of cookies.
- Call your closest girlfriend (who just happens to be vacationing) and complain until your exhausted and totally ruined her vacation.
- Kick the dog, pull your hair out, break all the dishes in the house and swear off cooking and household chores forever.
- Go on strike and camp out in your family room where no one else is allowed except if their bringing you comfort foods or a DVD.
Since Mother's Day I've been in the dumpers. Everyone's probably read my rant under the Q&A section about how blahsey my Mother's Day was and how disappointed I was because the hubby put absolutely no effort into the day's events - not to mention when he added insult to injury by proclaiming his undying love and honor for none other than his MOTHER, who I just so happen to be in a long-term battle with over insensitive remarks she made in January about my 2 oldest children who aren't her biological grandchildren.
My mood began to ebb further southward after talking with hubby in an attempt to "express my feelings" and was curtly dismissed with the "I've got to go to work in the morning" speech. This is my husband's way of not having to be bothered and leaving me to muddle and brew "in my feelings." I happily obliged his rude wishes - all night.
Usually it takes me a few days and I can get over myself by focusing my attention on other things - prayer, church, writing, kids, cooking, daily schedules, my favorite TV show, kids homework, anything until the issue resurfaces again if it wasn't dealt with then. And this issue with "mommy" wasn't. When the issue comes back up for me I usually decide if it's worth it to bring it back up or better to just move ahead and forget about it. My decision to press forward or forget it is usually based on how important the issue is to me and how much it's going to impact our future or the kids and more importantly - if it's something that keeps coming up again and again.
As for the MIL thingy - it keeps coming back up. So, much for letting that one go. I was bound to revisit the "undying love for mommy" issue ASAP, especially when it was topped off by my husband's beloved Catholic Priest who decided to rudely dis-invite me from partaking in Holy Communion last Sunday b/c I'm Baptist (as he put it). How's that for feeling dejected and unloved for the second time in a week? I can't rush to the freezer quick enough after this one. I've taken Communion in this church for over a year - and he just saw me coming up last Sunday!?
I won't even mention that my husband and I just had a "get to know each other" meeting with Mr. Priest about a month ago where we talked about communion and how sacred it is to me...as a BAPTIST! He could've told me then that I wasn't welcome to receive communion to my face, or even when he emailed me a week later to ask me to further explain my belief! Can anyone say flaming mad! No, Mr. Priest has to embarass me and whisper for me to "read the bulletin" as he hands me a wafer.
I was so hurt b/c not only do I feel uncomfortable going back to my husband's church...I'm also uncomfortable with his mother and how she feels about me and my children. Of course you know this spirals me into a sobbing pitty party about how nothing is going right and how unhappy I am about alot of stuff.
Try to talk to hubby and why? I am so not feeling the love around here. No reciprocity for my troubles. Hubby sides with MIL and Mr. Priest.
Sad...just very sad lately. Oh my, I hear those violins again. Can someone get me my plane ticket to nowhere, a box of Kleenex, and a pint of chocolate chunk brownie fudge ice cream please.........!
