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Surving the teen years.

By Jess
View Profile | View all posts
27th May

My oldest son is getting ready to step off into the abyss, also known as the teen years. While I know this is a huge deal for him, it is a colossal deal for me. The navigation of these years is sure to be a test of endurance for us both.

Little things have already started to occur, the first girlfriend, group dates, IM's, all of these have been met with thoughts of worry. When I say worry I mean him not me. I worry that he won't be accepted. I worry that he will get his heart broken. I worry that some perv is going to try and contact him on IM. See a trend here?

Do other parents have these same concerns? Am I being over protective? Do I need to take a step back and just let him experience it all by himself?

Man no one told me this parenting gig would be so hard.

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Jacqueline 14th Jul

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My mom told me that the teen years can be the hardest. A lot of things have to be experienced by the child themselves, but the parents need to have the relationship to a point where the child feels they can talk about anything. That way when they run into something that they cannot handle they feel confident coming to you with the issue, be it sex, dating or something else. The best thing you can do is to just hang in there, be firm with your rules, and let them know you are willing to talk and help when they need it.

JDaffron 27th May

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Oh...and I forgot the DRAMA. It's bigger with the girls (we even got our daughter a mini-Oscar at one point. She was NOT amused... we were. It fit!), but the guys go thru it too. You'll think you're reliving Days of Our Lives, only with Jekyll and Hyde.

Diane 27th May

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Great advice, JDaffron. :) And, Jess, remind yourself that difficulties will emerge every so often, but mostly a little here and a little there (it won't happen all at once), and you'll both get there in the end!

JDaffron 27th May

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Acceptance, or lack thereof, is a fact of life, regardless of who we are. He'll find his way - they always do - to a group that accepts him for who and what he is. Now...and I do NOT mean to alarm you hear...but the group will have far more effect on your son than you wil. So, hopefully, he'll choose wisely with whom he associates. That's one of the biggest (and hardest) things to get thru to them is that they WILL be judged by whom they associate and that can be both good or bad.

Also be prepared for the Jekyll/Hyde syndrome. And the arguments and shouting and slamming of doors. I've often asked God to just bring back the child I gave birth to instead of this alien that's infested her body.

My very best friend went thru it 3 times, 2x with twin sons. She calls it Testosterone Impairment. She also said that somewhere around the age of 22 or 23, they become human beings again. I've got about 4 or 5 years to go, but I'm taking her word for it.

You can worry all you want, but all you can do is grin and bear it. And regardless what they say they want...somewhere in all that mud in between the ears, somethings we say DOES get through.