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Ending a life

Yesterday I had to make a hard decision: to have the vet euthanize my rescue foster dog. Basically, he had health problems that required extensive ongoing care and reconstructive surgery with no end in sight to the possible future complications. All for a dog that was only one year old and did not have a loving home lined up yet. And, of course, rescue groups do not exactly have huge budgets to work with either.

This little guy gave me so much heartache. How to end the life of a sweet and loving little dog that's so young? That trusts you? That's smiling up at you in the car on the way to the vet? Yes, the other dogs we can help makes up for this kind of thing somewhat, but you never forget the ones like this that through no fault of their own got the short end of the stick in life: bad genetics and bad owners.

One thing that makes me glad is that at least he found his way to us and enjoyed a couple of fun weeks at our house, playing, stealing my toddler's Cheerios, and chewing up her books. Oh, and gleefully chasing the cat. The other thing that makes me glad is that I was there when he was put down. I held his head and I knew he never saw it coming. Yes, I cried all the way home in the car.


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Comments
Thanks everyone. I *really* appreciate all of your comments. I'll admit - it's still really got me down. Animals just tear up my heart, they are so innocent.
Leesa  28th Jun
I'm so sorry, Diane. You have my deepest sympathies. I have had to make that decision 3 times. 2 were very old and sick but very beloved dogs. The third was my 10 month old Lab puppy who we dicovered hada heart ailment that required heart surgery. There was no guarantee he would survive and the anesthetic could have killed him as well. We now have our 7 1/2 year old rescue dog. I dread the day when it comes again. They are truly very special parts of our family, no matter how old or how long they shared our lives.
Diane-
So sorry. I remember when we had to do this with our 2 cocker spaniels and it was horrible. I'm so sorry for your pain.
Diane,
So very sorry for you and that poor puppy. Your caring made him happier for a time and that is what should comfort you.
Kat  28th Jun
Oh Diane, how sad. I'm so sorry.
Diane,
I know how hard that can be. The reason it hurts so bad is because you have such a BIG HEART. Sometime I feel as though my pets are just as much my children as my children are. I love them all, and it really hurts when we have to say goodbye to them for now. Keep up the great work! We need more people like you in this world.
So sorry. Anyone who has been through knows this is truly heart breaking.
KC  27th Jun
Diane,

SO sorry ... I had a heavy heart when I read this post. We have a husky mix and he's so much apart of our family that he's "Uncle Max" to our son. I dread the day that we have to make a decision like this ... I can't even imagine how tough it was/would be.

I second Mandy's sentiments: you ARE doing great work and think about all the dogs you've saved!
Diane, you've made me cry. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. And so much for thinking I was over the same experience with my Sammy The Cat. Pets can have such a profound effect on us. These choices are never easy. I was going to write 'poor pup' but we all know he's better off. Go hug your baby now (and your cat since he/she had to put up with the puppy, too!!).
JC  27th Jun
So sorry, Diane. I don't think it ever gets any easier to make the decision to have a pet euthanized. As animal lovers, it's something we all will have to face at one time or another.

At least your little doggy did have some happy times with you and your family. You're doing great work, and it takes a special person to do what you do.
I remember when I had made the decision to put my sick old cat to sleep. The night before, she decided to sleep in the crook of my arm, rather than at my feet or not on the bed at all. This was a cat that was not very loving, easily frightened personality. So when she did that, it shot me through the heart. The next day, I took her to the animal hospital. I could barely see the signature line on the release through my tears. For me, this was one of the saddest experiences of my life, in part b/c it was in my control. So I totally, totally sympathize. (I had to go through this with another cat, another equally painful experience.) - Paula.
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