I've done it! I switched camps. After 15 years of being a stay at home mom I've traded in my shorts and t-shirts for a skirt, blazer and heels. I agonized over this decision for the week leading up to this life changing event but it has been much easier than I thought it would. I think it makes a difference if you are working in a profession you love and for me that is accounting. I'm now a full blown, full time tax accountant. I've made it through 2 whole 9 hour days. The most surprising thing is how much I love it. I almost feel guilty for not missing my children more during that 9 hours but as soon as I think I miss them I get handed another task and I go into accountant mode.
There are some new perks to this working thing that I hadn't expected. First off.... I get paid. What an incredible reward for all the hard work. Being a stay at home has horrible hours and no pay. When working full time, there is a sense of accomplishment when a task is finished and marked off the list. As a mom, nothing gets checked off the list and you do the same tasks over and over with no sense of completion. There is no beginning and no expectation of an ending. At work I am getting praised for the work I'm doing. When I hand the tax file over to my manager she is truly happy and tells me so. I think it is called appreciation. Moms are never appreciated. We are just expected to do all we do. The biggest surprise came when I got to work early. Hardly anyone was in the office and I sat at my desk with my coffee waiting for my computer to boot up and I realized I had something I hadn't known for years. It is called peace and quiet. It was so quiet and I relished that. My normal daily environment starts with kids rising me out of bed in some not so nice ways. I've woken up to poop, puke, spit, crying, yelling and some days they manage to sneak up on me and scream MOM in my ear. That can wake you out of a dead sleep and you have to wonder how long they stood there watching you sleep before making their move. That is just to get up in the morning. Then comes the ringing phones, the 3 dogs barking, the bird squaking, the tv's, the extra kids and just chaos and noise in general. It is never quiet. It is never peaceful and it is never dull.
Although I love my new job as a working mom, I have no regrets for the years I've given to my children. I was there for every age and every stage. I'm sure women my age are probably further along in their career but I wouldn't change my decisions. I'm recreating myself and redefining myself as a working mom. Notice that the word mom is in both profiles. Being a mom is a constant. The biggest lesson I've learned is that you can be both. I don't deserve any kudos for being a stay at home mom or a working mom. They are both choices to be proud of. We all try to justify and defend our own choices and often that comes as a dig to the mom that made a choice different than yours. It's hard to be a stay at home mom and it's hard to be a working mom. As moms we should be more supportive of each other. Some moms work because they have to and that is what is best for their kids and their families. Some moms stay at home because that is what is best for their kids and their families. We should all rally together as moms and just drop the prefixes as they are temporary and can be changed at will. I will forever have an appreciation for stay at home moms. Been there, done that. I also have an appreciation for working moms. So the next time you run into a mom, any mom, tell her she is doing great at raising her kids and taking care of her family. It doesn't matter how she does it as the choice is hers. Support her as the title 'Mom' is something to be proud of.
