Women are very interesting creatures, especially when they
are women but they have a semi-man like mentality of thinking in areas. Please
allow me to explain but embarrassing myself a little for your reading pleasure.
When it comes to work and life, in general, I have a very “man-centered”
thought process. I work as a programmer because I think much more logically
than I do creatively and I fit in well with men in my career than I do with
women. Not that I have anything against women, but my thought processes are
just…different. I’m a take-charge-get-things-done kind of gal and I like order
and processes and I thrive off of challenge. I often get called “bitchy” and “cold”
because when dealing with work, I deal with work. Yes, I do have my moments of
gossiping about our raises or the conditions of our working, but for the most
part I tend to really work as a man, in a man’s career.
That being said, it’s amazing how polar opposite I am when
it comes to work and life.
I had all but an emotional breakdown last night over the
mere thought that I may or may not have done something to hurt my friend’s
feelings to the point where she wasn’t returning any of my calls for the past
week or so. This is my same friend, my best friend, who has been with me
through thick and thin for the last 7 years or so. She was with me through
losing my daughter and the birth of my son and everything in between! I had
called her a few times last week and more specifically, once the day before
yesterday and left her voicemails asking her to call me back. No call. Finally,
yesterday I called her cell and her home and left her a voicemail on both telling
her that I didn’t’ know what was going on, but if I didn’t anything to make her
mad, I’d like to talk.
I sat and I stewed for hours, thinking. What on earth could I
have done to her?! I cried thinking that somehow some misunderstanding has
happened and I’m about to lose this person that means the world to me, I mean
my god, she’s the only person I contact on a daily basis besides my husband. I
cried at work twice and once while giving my son a bath, to which he said, “Mommy
no cry, kissy!” as he splashed me.
Finally, last night, about 9pm, my phone rings and I hear
the South Carolina Gamecock ring tone and I know it’s her!! My stomach is in
knots and my eyes already start filling up with tears and I answer the phone.
What was I so torn up about? What was the huge misunderstanding that was going
to rip my only true friendship apart at the seams? Well, nothing. It was a
misunderstanding. I misunderstood that she was extremely busy and just hadn’t had
a chance to return my call as she’s been working overtime and working the
concession stands at the little league baseball tournament all week.
I had managed to get myself worked up to the point of almost
making myself sick without even hearing from my friend all because I am an
irrational, emotional mess of a woman sometimes (and yes, sometimes at work). And
this, my friends has not been the first time and I’m positive, not the last
either.
