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I'm wondering how other moms deal with having to work when they want to stay home? I don't have the option to be a stay at home mom; I go back to work in two weeks and I have already started crying about it. When I left my first to go back to work I cried
Answered on 23rd November 2011:
My kids are now 6 and 8 years old. I remember "oh-so-clearly" when our oldest was born and all my internal struggles (tissues, anyone?). During my entire pregnancy I was so stressed out because I hated my corporate job and could never see myself leaving my little baby for 12 hour days to go to a place I hated. At the time, I was making double the salary my husband was making!!! We own a home, and like nice things, so I felt SO stuck! Then, by the grace of God, I began teaching part-time at a University near my work when I was only a few months pregnant. Once our daughter was born, we made the decision that we'd just "kiss it up to God" and figure things out along the way, so I can stay home, yet I still continued to work part-time as an Adjunct Professor. Yes, I was freaking out some days....but it just took some getting used to. At the time, I was only teaching 1-2 classes twice/week at night, so I was able to stay home and once my husband got home --- off I went to teach. So here's my point: I tell all my friends that if WE could make it work so that I could be home with our kids....ANYONE can! I thought about how much $$$ I was spending when I worked full-time: my lattes, trendy clothes, commuting to Manhattan, going out to lunch....dry cleaning....oh and those mani/pedi's! Unbelievable how much we spend when we HAVE money! Once I really scaled back and realized that I didn't need all that much (materialistically, that is), we did it! Yes, my husband worked harder and began working in Photography part-time to bring in some extra $$$, but in the end --- I never had to step foot in a daycare center or call someone up to help me. Suggestion: think of things you can do without. For example, I know this is a stretch, but do you really need that second car? Can you clean your house yourself and tell the polish cleaning lady you don't need her anymore? Are you willing to mow your own lawn to save $$$, while also getting a little workout? How about the morning coffee that you choose to buy ready-made? Can you make it yourself at home for 30 cents a cup. vs. $2.00? Are you willing to shop the clearance rack at Old Navy and get some cute $4.99 tops....or do you have to have the new arrivals from Banana Republic? If you wrote down all that you spend and just crossed off 5 things you can do without on that list... it will bring you that much closer to making a sound decision. Please note: I DO realize that some people haven't any other choice. The point here is to weigh your options and realize that maybe even Part-Time work could be a perfect fit for you. That is what happened to me.... In fact, I WELCOME my time to go to work b/c it's my "adult interaction" that we all crave as mommies. Now my kids are getting bigger and I am getting my 'fill' of adult interaction through their school as well, but working is not a bad thing.....as long as you feel you have the balance that allows you to do the most important job anyone can give you: Parenting. ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) Hope this helps you....even if it's just a little bit.