Nicola Ries Taggart

From Alameda, California, United States

Joined 5th June 2007

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  • Has anyone ever hired a housekeeper? I have debated it for years and have finally decided to go through with it temporarily but already feel guilty about spending the money. My husband was also not 100% in support, saying that he really doesn't mind a m

    Answered on 12th February 2009:

    I say if you don't have time to do something or really don't like to do something, outsource! Professional moms can have it all, but they can't DO it all by themselves. As I tell my clients, when it comes to come care tasks, you need support. Trying to work, be a mom and a wife, and handle the various other "life" responsibilities is a lot. The key to having a life in which you enjoy your professional life AND you enjoy your personal life is having structure and support. If you don't have the time or energy (which it sounds like you don't) and your husband isn't willing to take on the tasks...and having a continual "messy house" isn't okay with you, you have to go outside the home to find the support. More and more families are hiring outside help for their cleaning needs. I've actually heard from so many women that they feel getting a housekeeper saved their sanity and their marriage. My suggestion is to TRY to let go of the guilt (or at least try to ignore it for a bit) and give the housekeeper a try for a few months. Track how you are feeling, both positive and negative, so that at the end of the "trail period" you can assess whether having someone help is worth the money or not. Yes, it may be something you CAN do, but by having someone else do it, what is that giving you? More time for yourself and your kids? Less stress? More sanity? More peace?

    12 replies

  • Will my 8 week old baby feel like i dont love her when i go back to work full time?

    Answered on 8th January 2009:

    As one of my best friend's told me before I had my daughter nearly four year ago, "motherhood is about managing guilt and worry." Going back to work and leaving your child in someone else's care, no matter how old they are, triggers both the guilt and the worry...usually BIG time. Your baby or child does not determine whether you love him/her or not based on the number of hours you are with them. What's important is that when you are with them that they have pockets of time to bond with you and receive your undivided attention. Focus on the positive aspects of your child being cared for by someone else while you are at work: they get the opportunity to expand their circle of people who care for and love them, they learn that it's okay for mommy to leave and she will come back, they get to see the world through another person's perspective, you get some time out of 100% mommy mode to remind yourself that you are more than "just a mom", etc. With all that said, if you go back to work and are miserable because you'd really like to be home with your baby more, I would encourage you to not dismiss that dream and focus on making that dream a reality. Whether you work outside the home full-time or part-time or stay home full-time or part-time, what matters the most is how you FEEL about that decision. And through it all....remember to breathe....

    12 replies

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1 comment so far...

  • Nicola, welcome to Work It, Mom! I checked out your blog and really liked some of your great insights - maybe you might consider sharing them with our community here? They'd make for some great articles:)

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Nataly on 22nd June 2007