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If you are married or have a significant other, who is the one making plans and organizing things like family outings? ”

Asked by Nataly on 7th January 2008

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I am a Virgo - need I say more!Yep I do the organizing, usually color coded LOL! Between business and a lot of community involvement I am the one to do the organizing & planning and coordinating of schedules - but it is what I DO (I love it). I have had to learn to deal with quick changes though, because of our business the best laid plans may change 180 or 360 degrees at any given moment - I have mastered that after 10+ year of marriage. I must credit hubby to be the king at dealing with change on the run! We're a complimentary pair. I have found that by planning ahead well , I am better able to deal with the unforseen, which is inevitable 9 times out of 10! - in all aspects of my life.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Pammy on 23rd January 2008
My husband is often the one with the ideas but always says he can't make definite plans until he's cleared it with the 'social secretary' - me! He likes to socialise more than I do (only because I'm tired and busy) so we don't always agree either.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Caitlin on 10th January 2008
mostly me, I'm not saying I'm an organized person, but I'm the more organized of the two of us, plus my husband is panicky.. you can imagine him doing the organizing.. I don't think we'll be able to accomplish anything...... :)

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Cynthia on 9th January 2008
I pretty much always do this sort of planning. He is trying to be helpful by allowing me to have say in what we do, but much of the time I feel like it is added pressure.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by mamajama on 9th January 2008
Me. Always. Including all travel plans for everything and everywhere, including our oldest three kids (who are my step kids, which means that I coordinate with their mom and stepdad). I buy the tickets, scope out the rental car deals, pack the suitacases for everyone except my husband, make the lists, etc. etc. etc....

If I don't, then we end up paying through the nose for last-minute airline tickets, and it goes against my grain to pay $400+ for a ticket that I know I could have gotten for $190 if only it had been planned a bit better. So I plan.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse on 9th January 2008
We try to share, but it's not easy. Usually if it's with my friends - then I have to be the one showing initiative and making plans. If it's somebody my husband wants to hang with - he makes plans.... It seems to work for us untill he doesn't tell me about plans he's made and we are bouble booked and have to argue :)

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Victoria on 8th January 2008
I see that some folks say family event planning is usually wimmin''s work.

But for us-usually it's my husband. Our "outtings" that require planning are trips and we sometimes have large family gatherings. If it envolves directions or large meals that should be edibble-it's got to be orchestrated by him.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Uhura on 8th January 2008
it's ALWAYS me! and nataly - we have the same arguments. however, i have come to realize that hubby would be perfectly happy to never leave the house so it never even occurs to him to look for things to do. therefore, it's all me. i figure at least this way i get to choose! Sometimes i give him choices othertimes i say 'we are doing XYZ' LOL

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 8th January 2008
It varies. Probably mostly me, because I want to do more of them, but we're both pretty low-key, so we don't do a lot of things that require a lot of planning, which suits us. He does plan things with his kids, but, again, they're low-key, like a walk to a coffee shop or a park, or out to a movie.

They're also older, so they do a lot of their own planning. We'll also let them do the legwork for a family activity. We give them the money to rent a DVD, then they walk to the video store, choose and bring the thing home, and we cook popcorn and watch it together.

I wonder, if you find the planning of family outings very burdensome, whether the solution could in part be simply a) doing fewer things and b) doing simpler things.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by MaryP on 8th January 2008
Oh brother. Why is it that it's always the women who get stuck with the planning? We have had this argument many, many times. Especially when he'll occasionally say, sort of condescendingly, 'oh honey, you always say you're going to do XYZ but you never do it," and I'll say (between gritted teeth) "that's because I have to do all the damn planning!!" Grr. I have to say, my husband has improved a bit because he's afraid I'll explode on him again. If we decide to do something on a weekend or something, say, a museum, he'll say "why don't I print out the hours," which I really appreciate. Well, of course, we didn't get this improvement with me yelling. I'm just joking about that part. It's more a matter of many heated discussions and a lot of honest talking - and me just stressing in a nonconfrontational way how little time I have and how I feel loaded down with all the "miscellaneous life tasks" that crop up.

The other side of the coin is how our other halves interpret it. My husband's view is that I am the worrier and the planner and, hey, it's just a personality thing. He does things on impulse, without much planning. He knows his efforts don't match my high standards, which he'd say are unrealistically high, so he says he prefers to let me do it. It's extremely frustrating.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Diane on 8th January 2008
(This member note made me think to ask this: http://www.workitmom.com/note-1637)

In our house it's definitely me. And to be honest, it's tiring and a lot of our arguments are about my wanting to do less of that.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Nataly on 7th January 2008