Member Questions

Being attractive helps, of course, and it doesn't just impact men, it affects how women perceive you, too. Studies have shown that attractive children get better marks and are better liked by teachers than unattractive; that people tend to respond more warmly to attractive people; that attractive people are more often given the benefit of the doubt in work and social situations. This goes for any combination -- male/male, male/female, female/female. It's not sexual attraction here, just plain attractiveness.

As for flirting? I love to flirt, but I've never done it at my current work because my relationship with my clients is already more personal than most client-contractor relations (I'm a daycare provider), and I feel it would be inappropriate. Before that, I taught prenatal classes, and again, flirting with a man while his 9-month-pregnant, feeling-fat-and-unattractive wife sat beside him? That would be tacky and unkind beyond measure! (To clarify: I never found them fat and unattractive -- but that was how some perceived themselves. I think pregnant women are, by definition, beautiful.)

When I was teaching in a school, I did flirt with some of my colleagues, but as Kim B says, you know who to flirt with and who not, and you know to keep it within the parameters of light fun.

For sure, being attractive helps. Especially in the Fashion industry. Everything was about your looks and how you put yourself together. That's the part I hated. I use to walk in on a monday and people would look at what you were wearing before they looked at you.
No I never flirted at work...there were a lot of Carson Kressley guys.

1) In some careers yes. Mine, no. 2) No, although I have a very outgoing personality that sometimes gets viewed as flirty, I try to maintain a professional manner with everyone at work - although some have grown to be more of friendships. 3) I think flirting in the workplace is unprofessional.

lol YMHTWT i totally agree! and Nataly - i have seen that too! i am sort of on this weird sometimes a girl sometimes not roller coaster with my guy friends at work. They have TOLD ME that when this one woman would call meetings they would all go because she woudl wear low cut things!! eh at least they were honest LOL but then i know she is a smart and well spoken person and is worthy of her success here, so i think she is certainly one of those who found that balance!

for me, i try to find the balance, i am nice and friendly and try to dress and maintain my appearance with out going over the top. sometimes i think it isnt so much as 'attractiveness' as 'put togetherness' and confidence that help you succeed.

I would love to give this one a big fat no way... but I think we all know it isn't true. Being attractive helps. I work in a man centered government/military environment. The women who are successful here either are de-sexed or use their femininity. Their is no middle ground. You either have to sell your sex or lose it and become one of the men. In my case, I can't lose my sex. I am all female and exceptionally large chested. This can work against me if I don't play my cards just right. It is a constant struggle to strike the balance between being smart, attractive, sexual, powerful, serious, etc... but it is well worth it once the balance is achieved. I think that most women flirt at work... the difference is, harmless flirting and outright naughtiness. There is something to be said about a person who everyone likes. That person has the capability to "flirt" with everyone, whether male or female. They are friendly, but not too friendly. Perhaps they are even that elusive, not quite my friend... but would really like them to be kind of person. In reality, these people often have struck a good balance in keeping people at bay. Forming close knit relationships at works isn't always a good idea. I don't think outright flirting is okay... although I have had relationships at work in the past (they were kept on the low-key side). That said, I don't see anything wrong with normal, harmless, friendly flirting. The reality is sex sells. No matter what we tell ourselves otherwise... its the truth. Some days I rise up against it... other days I sigh and accept it.