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What tricks/techniques can I use to keep my 3.5yo from coming into bed with us at night? We put him back to his bed each time he comes it, but it isn't really working. Sometimes we don't even know he's there for a few hours. ”

Asked by klg on 13th February 2008

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Thanks for the advice.

The bedtime routine is good and we recently gave in to the night light. C is sleepy and doesn't want to play or be awake. He just wants to sleep with us. I thought he was cold and that was waking him up. We make sure he's covered and in warm pjs in case he kicks off the covers. This worked for a little while, but he's back to coming into bed with us. Usually between 2am and 4am. He is a tall boy for a toddler bed, so we're thinking of converting his bed into a full and see if that helps. I didn't really think that he may be sleep walking or something like that. He may not be remembering he came to us and subsequently our consistent message of "sleep in your own bed" may not be sinking in.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by klg on 14th February 2008
purchase one of those glow lamps that reflect against the walls and if that dosent work play your child's favorite song put it on repeat so they can fall asleep to it. When you check back in your little ones should be fast asleep. Those are the two things I use for my babes. I think when they are getting ready for bed they're of afraid to be alone. By purchasing the lamp they could stare at the figures on the wall til they sleep or by playing music (lullaby) they hear a sound voice and it soothes them to sleep.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Shelly on 13th February 2008
When my son was getting into a bed someone suggested I put a gate in his doorway. I never did but maybe it's a possibilty???

Flag as inappropriate Posted by momof2lovelies on 13th February 2008
One of our kids used to materialize next to my side of the bed at all hours... I'd lead him back to his bed and tuck him back in. Sometimes, he was sleepwalking, but other times, he just wanted to visit.

Our 3-year-old has only recently -- as in the past week or so -- realized that she can get out of bed if she wants to. So far, though, she's hasn't done any late-night exploring, but I'm sure it'll happen sooner or later! She often flips on her bedside light and "reads" to her stuffed animals until she gets sleepy again and falls back asleep -- something we've encouraged our older kids to do, but she does it, too.

Every bit of advice I've heard has been to calmly and firmly lead the child back to his or her own bed, with no discussion, tuck them back in and tell them that he has to be in his bed and you have to be in yours. You can try bribes -- I mean incentives! Yes, incentives! -- but that might not work, it depends on the kid.

If it's OK by you, consider allowing him to get up and play with some soft, quiet toys, but not leave his room. Or tell him he can switch on a little light and look at books in bed until he's sleepy again. Or you can try putting a large digital clock in his room, and telling him that he can only come into your room when the numbers say "7:00" or more (or whatever time you choose).

Good luck!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse on 13th February 2008