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Do you ever feel penalized at work because you're a parent?”

Asked by The Work It, Mom! Team on 13th February 2008

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When I was working I was never penalized because I had to take the time off to take my kids to the doctor. After all, just about all my bosses were females with kids of their own.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by tina4545 on 21st February 2008
As a postscript to my earlier note, one of the big reasons why I chose the daycare center that I did is b/c I can count on them more than any other possible daycare situation. Especially the daycare program they have at my son's school. I would have liked to have considered the school daycare, but they're closed every time school is closed. With all the Monday holidays and the Professional Days and snow days...that would have *really* put me in a bind with my employers. I don't have family who could watch my son on such days. So school daycare had to be crossed off the list. - Paula.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by tkd_mama on 21st February 2008
It's not the company, it's me. I feel self-conscious about taking time off for the kids (and lately with illness and school closed days it's been a lot). I know it's the only option, but I also am the only one in the office with young children (the station manager has two, but they are older and he's a male...so he never had to take the time off that I do).

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Patrysha Korchinski on 16th February 2008
Kind of. Is that a possible answer? All of my colleagues and bosses do have kids (either human or -- one of them -- furry). So, we share stories about our kids. I feel like I get penalized because I am breastfeeding AND don't have a nanny/au pair/ SAH spouse. So, I am often late, have to cut things short, and run behind because of pumping issues. And, I have to be creative -- at the expense of work -- when there are daycare issues. In a weird sort of way, I am proud that I am juggling these things and gladly (?) accept the fallout from them. My reality is the reality of many moms and it makes me a more empathetic person and physician.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by KC on 16th February 2008
No, never. I work in an environment that recognizes we are all human and whether or not we have kids, life still happens for us outside of the office for all of us. In the last two weeks I have dealt with an injured grandma and a cat that needed to go to the vet. A co-worker dealt with a broken down car last week and another co-worker dealt with an in-law that had pipes burst the other week. Each of us had valid reasons for taking time off unexpectedly and not one of our reasons had anything to do with the fact that we are all parents.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by KathyHowe on 15th February 2008
Yeah. My boss seems to have developed a radar to come looking for me when I've had to leave early for my son's stuff (therapy, etc.). He also has a tendency to check in with me about issues about 5 mins before the end of the work day. He said at my annual review that there have been times when he went to look for me and I wasn't there. Yeah, my early departures were approved, but after my review, I'm now under the impression he doesn't like it. >:-( - Paula.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by tkd_mama on 14th February 2008
Nope, not at all. 3 of my attorneys (and that includes my boss) have kids, as do others in our section. If anything, a lot of us have kids roughly the same age range, so we can commersate on our similiar problems.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by JDaffron on 14th February 2008
Uhura, I envy you that... in my company, only two of the higher ups in the newsroom who have children are women, and both of them were higher-ups before their children were born. Out of those two, one of them didn't actually have the child -- her partner did, so she's in the same boat as the male higher-ups who are parents. And all of them either have nannies or stay-at-home wives or wives who work part time (or some combination of those situations). It's really discouraging.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse on 14th February 2008
Nope-all the higher ups have kids too.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Uhura on 13th February 2008
Sometimes... I can't do the massive amounts of OT that I used to, and need more flexibility than non-parents in the newsroom. There was a point a few years ago when it seemed like every single person who got passed over for promotion was a parent... I'm not saying it was deliberate, and some of the promotions may actually have been jobs that were turned down, but still, it's disheartening.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse on 13th February 2008
nope, i work in a weird weird place where i think it actually helped my career to have a child. i would constantly get 'ooh do you have kids?' and then when i said no i would get 'oh, well ok" very weird and awkward. but then, there are a lot of things about the company i work for that are kinda held over from the 50's LOL all the good stuff though, not too much of the bad ;)

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 13th February 2008