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I'm currently 5 mos pregnant and already feeling the stress of having to put my baby girl in day care. Anyone have any advice? I have to work. We need the money! Part 2 of my question - I'm currently a teacher (an hour from home) and I have just been offered a sales job 15 minutes from home. Teaching pays more and offers more time off. The sales job offers flexibility but there is a big salary difference. I make more in teaching and the teaching job will cover my maternity leave. Again any advice for long term. Day care costs the same for 6 hours or 9 hours a day!”

Asked by Keranne on 20th February 2008

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Comments so Far...

Since you feel you have to work and would prefer to stay with teaching, what about visiting the daycare facilities or individual who may be responsible for your child's care. If you have a facility that you prefer, still research, go and visit, build a rapport with those individual who would be watching your new loved one. Part of the battle is the trust and assurance your child will be fine.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by sandyd on 21st February 2008
Congratulations! Just to follow up on KC's comments, my children both went to a homecare (sometimes called family care with larger groups) until they were 3 and in many ways it was much easier for them and for me. It was cheaper than alot of the big daycares, the number of kids was much lower so my child got more attention, there was less risk of her being stuck in the baby room or left in a crib (instead she got to watch and interact with the bigger kids which is pretty stimulating), and the relationship between me and her caregivers was very friendly and more personal. (I view our care giver as sort of a professional Mother Goose; she's great and very invested in our kid.) Have you asked the other mom teachers at your school who they are using? Many family cares are run by ex-teachers who specialized in little ones but needed to make more $ than they could within the school system. Often other teachers or even senior staff at your local grade school can point you in the right direction. The local parent association for your town can also help.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by pajamamama on 21st February 2008
Congratulations on the pregnancy ... fun times ahead with the little one. Like you, I also must work. My little guy (6 mos) is in daycare. We use a home daycare where it's just my son, another little girl, and the provider. The provider is just great and gives ML a lot of attention and love. He adores her! So, if you're not wild about organized daycare center, home daycare is an option. (Send me a message, if you want to know the pros and cons of each, because there CERTAINLY are some!) I won't sugar coat the mommy-baby (initial) separation, because it's definitely difficult and there were days where I missed my little guy terribly. But, months pass and a routine evolves and it gets a bit easier. PART TWO: I think the teacher gig is best in the long run: my own mom was a teacher and she had every holiday off with me. And, she had set hours so I knew that she'd be home each night around the same time. Just my own thoughts ... you should definitely do what you feel is right.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by KC on 21st February 2008
Although I don't have a child in daycare, your time is valuable and the time with your little one will FLY. I would opt to get the job that is closer because you will save an hour and a half every day of commute time and you will want to use to spend with your little one. I understand the other one pays more, but right now, you should spend as much time as possible with your little one. You will want to be closer to your daughter anyway in case of emergencies.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by lauren126 on 21st February 2008
Hey there, Keranne. I really sympathize with the stress you're going through over this. While you say you need to work for the money, could you possibly take an unpaid leave of absence of, say, 4 months? If you could just get through that period financially, you could have those newborn months at home with baby, then restart teaching when she's older. Just a thought. You could also consider working part-time or working part-time/full-time from home. Eg, online tutoring might be an option. You could do that for a year or so, then go back to regular teaching after that. Again, you say you have to work (and I totally understand that!) but you might be able to make enough to get by working part-time once you deduct the expenses associated with a full-time job outside the home: car, gas/other transportation costs, work wardrobe, buying lunch, and - of course - the cost of daycare. Good luck!!!!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Diane on 20th February 2008
Ooh, you're in a tough position, Keranne. The bottom line is, you need to do what's best for you and your family, of course. I'd weigh the options, both short term and long term. Short term: With the more-flexible sales job leave you with any money left over after paying for childcare? Would you get enough time off? And just how flexible is "flexible?" Is there a teaching option with a shorter commute, or is there a day-care center closer to your teaching job? Long term: Does the sales position offer the possibility of advancement, or is advancement dependent on how much time you put into the job (which kind of negates the flexibility angle)? Another possiblity: Can you drop your child at care and have someone else (spouse, family member, partner) pick her up, to minimize her time there (if that helps your peace of mind)? I drop my kids at care in the morning, and my husband picks them up in the late afternoon; I arrive home about 2 hours later, in time for dinner and bath and bed.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse on 20th February 2008