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Hi I will be starting my 3 month old son at the day care on Monday when I start work full time . I am so stressed about this situation. He is my first baby and I really donno what to do. I want to work and I know I can't be at home forever. I want some reassuarnce. Please help. ”

Asked by megha on 19th March 2008

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Comments so Far...

M's first day at day care I cried when I left and felt nauseous all day. She had a blast and was so excited to see me when I picked her up, it was a pick-up for me. We've been at the same day care since, and I think they are wonderful.
It's extrememly hard, but you'll both do great! Both my girls love when I drop in to say hi and hang out or read a story to the class. That also let's me have a relationship with their teachers and see them with their friends.
Good luck!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Niki D on 29th March 2008
I was stressed when I started my son in daycare, but it is absolutely wonderful for him, now he is in preschool and goes to school on the same day that I do. He loves being around his little friends! It is going to be fine.

I have found it is going to be harder on you than on him. Hang in there!!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Tonya Ramsey on 20th March 2008
HI,
Don't worry so much, I think your baby is going to be just fine. Try and look at it as a mini-vacation for the day and know that you will always come pick him up as soon as you can. In my opinion, your child needs that interaction with other people to be a healthy person. I think that your little guy is going to surprise you and he'll be fine. I'd try to go a few days early and just 'hang out' with him there for a few hours so he can get used to being there and feel comfortable. Ok so YOU can get used to his being there and YOU can feel comfortable. Good luck and try not to worry.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Just Elaine on 20th March 2008
Hi All, Thanks a lot for all your kind words. I have called and set up two "dry runs" prior to Monday, as all of you suggested. I have spent some time at the facility but not with my son. I will go ahead and do that tomorrow and Friday to see how he is with teachers. There are a total of 6 infants in his class and two very loving (tehy look all motherly) teachers. Worst case, I wil give it a shot for a couple of weeks and if just doesn't work out ...... well ... will see how it goes. Thanks again for such reassuring words.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by megha on 20th March 2008
I had to log in and create an account on this site because I absolutely, positively, 100% know what you are going through. I had terrible anxiety about going back to work and leaving my daughter at a terrific, NAEYC accredited child care facility. TERRIBLE ANXIETY. I had very bad mommy guilt.

But you know what? I went back to work, breastfed on my lunch hour, but felt like "myself" again. I did all that worrying for nothing.

Sending your child to childcare is difficult like any transition - I cried a bit for the first week... but you'll do it and you'll fall back into a routine and everything WILL BE OKAY. Remember to be kind to yourself.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Jess on 20th March 2008
Everything will be OK! It's totally normal for you to worry, so just take a deep breath, exhale like the goddess you are and say to yourself, "I am his mother, one of a kind and unreplaceable"
Did you get a chance to do a few "dry-runs" at his school? That can be a stress reliever....If you can, go tomorrow and "drop-in" with him, introduce him to all his new friends.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by relaxnsmile on 19th March 2008
My first child is 4 months old now. I can understand how stressful it would be to have to go back to work and leave your baby for that many hours a day, even if it were with someone I knew let alone a daycare. There are other options out there. I'm not saying quit your job, but maybe explore some legitimate work at home options?? Just make sure it's real before you invest your money. Here's the one that's working for me and allowing me to have the wonderful time I have with my daughter during the day: www.mystressfreeincome.com

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Sheraline on 19th March 2008
It's hard, but rest assured, I've never heard anyone say that their child thought that anyone was mommy but mommy, so you will always hold that primary position in his heart. In fact, studies show that modern working women spend MORE TIME with their kids than the average mom in the 1960s. So don't feel bad, you're more likely to make the most of the time you have with him in the long run.

As for tips on a positive daycare experience, I'm no pro, but here's what I've got:

If you can go for an hour or so this week, that would be a great way to transition. Get to know the daycare teachers. Talk to them. Watch how they interact with other babies and ask questions about how they spend the day and how they manage the various needs of babies at such different developmental stages.

Once you start full-time, try not to put yourself in the drop and run mode too often. I'm fortunate that I don't punch a strict clock, so I can always make sure my son is playing and happy before I head out the door. I also talk to the teachers EVERY DAY about what's going on with my son instead of just putting notes on his daily paper.

When we first started with daycare, I visited him at lunch 2-3 times a week. I still drop by sometimes, but not as much. It was nice to be able to give him a bottle or rock him to sleep. It also gave me a chance to interact with the teachers outside of the morning/evening hectic times, which puts me at ease and just generally helps the relationship there.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by BrendaG on 19th March 2008