Member Questions

Ask a question

How do the roles that you and your partner play in your children's lives differ? Are the roles pretty traditional or do you break the mold?”

Asked by mamajama on 26th March 2008

Leave answer

Comments so Far...

Our roles started out as rather traditional, with me being a SAHM when our oldest was born 19 years ago. Several years and two more boys added to the family changed that! I started working at home part time when my oldest was 6.

We've maintained our household and family with the whoever-is-here-does-it kind of mindset. Sometimes it would be me doing the housework, sometimes him. Childcare has been shared.

As our boys got older, my husband took on a more active role with the boys - especially as they became involved in scouting.

Ten years ago, we decided to homeschool the kids. They've learned a lot of things from me that their dad never learned from his mom - these guys know how to maintain a household and still have fun! I think their experience will make them less traditional partners and parents when they are older.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Karen on 28th March 2008
I am very lucky that my husband does as much as I do in all areas of the household.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by shanspring on 28th March 2008
We sort of break the mold. I am a working mom (although I work from home two days a week) and my husband is a stay-at-home dad. Our teenagers do a lot of the cleaning. My husband does the rest except for the laundry which is all mine. We split the cooking chore. My husband get the kids up in the morning and gets them off to school. I take care of baths and bedtime.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Christine on 28th March 2008
We both do whatever we can, when we can. There are somethings that he's better at and some that I'm better at. He was one of the few dads who goes on the band trips (daugther's in flag guard with the marching band) and I stay at home. Why? Cause he likes to and I get a few days BY MYSELF...just me, the dogs and the cats! Also, they need men on the trip to chaperone the boys and there's an overabudnance of moms, so I take full advantage of my time alone

I'm the one who bakes, tho, when something comes up. I'm also the one that does the dr's appointments, tho he handles it when I can't.

Frankly, I dion't think I'd know what traditional is if it stood up and hit me. Even my parents weren't "traditional", come to think of it...

Flag as inappropriate Posted by JDaffron on 27th March 2008
We both just do whatever we can! I work "normal" business hours and he does not. Therefore he takes the kids to classes and the park, whereas I am not available for those daytime activities.
He does the grocery shopping as well, for the most part. I pay the bills because he hates dealing with that. But I empty the dishwasher, do all the clothes shopping for the family and decide what the meals will be. I make most of the food too.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by spacegeek on 27th March 2008
We both work, so we split many of the household responsibilities somewhat evenly. He certainly does more than many of my SAH neighbors' husbands.

We are traditional in that I am in charge of the household food. Even if he is going to grill, I make that decision, not him. I am also in charge of all nutritional and development decisions for DS. For instance, hubby will help feed DS, but doesn't know what to fix him without instruction.

One way we have reversed roles is that he is definitely the overprotective parent and I'm the "he has to learn that he can't crawl through the coffee table somehow" parent. I tend to give DS a little more leash than hubby does when he's playing/exploring.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by BrendaG on 27th March 2008
We both have demanding jobs so we try to split things equally - I do most of the cooking, but he does the laundry, I get the kids ready in the morning but he does the bedtime routine, etc. Last year, when I was working more than normal due to some challenges at work, I loved that I could count on him to do more at home...and I think it felt very natural to the kids because we are both normally so involved. Now I'm taking a few months off on a sabbatical so that is allowing him to focus more on work. I do wonder, though - if and when I return to work, if we'll be able to get back into those old routines now that we've gone the more traditional route lately.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Jen S on 27th March 2008
Well, I'm a SAHM and my husband right now is a working, telecommuting SAHD. How neat? I guess it's not so traditional now, but nowadays what is? But, b/c of his kind of work we oscilate back and forth btwn traditional and mold breaking duties.

This work situation has allowed us to both share duties during the week. We swap off sharing the duties, but I probably do more when he's really knee deep in work and when he travels. The draw back is when his gov't contract changes (as it will next week) we switch to a more traditional role and I take over while he travels to MA each day. It's allowed the children to bond with him in a very healthy way.

It's a living.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by caramelsugarberry38 on 27th March 2008
reversed and equal at the same time, is that possible? lol during the week he has primary responsibilities in the mornings (i leave first) and evenings (i am not home until 6 or 7)! On the weekends it is usually 'family' time to run errands and all that fun stuff together! Once in a while i will take the kiddo and give hubby time to himself and he does the same for me... we switch off. probably not too traditional :)

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 27th March 2008
Traditional, which is a bit disappointing to me. Although, he's separating from the military in the next 15 months and is planning on staying home with our son and any sibling that comes along ... so that will be very nice!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by KC on 27th March 2008