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I just got an offer for a job after looking for almost a 8 mths...I am excited and confused on what to do about the job...I have a 20mth old and I would have to put her in daycare...problem is that the daycares are open till 6:30pm the latest...and I asked my new employer if it was possible for me to leave by 5:30pm, they said there hours are from 9am-6pm and there might be some overtime on top of that on some days...I don't know what to do? I would reach the daycare by 6:30pm if I leave at 6pm, speed and if there is good traffic. So far I have not found anything closer to work that is open past 6pm so I don't even have that choice....what do working mothers do in this situation...lastly I don't have family members or close friends in this area...they all live an hour or more away from me...Before I got the job offer I had intended to start an at home daycare and had just been licensed when I recieved a call and was offer the job...what would you do...any suggestions would really be appreciated.”

Asked by bluesky on 3rd April 2008

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Comments so Far...

I live in the DC metro area so what you are saying hits home closely! My daycare closed at 6:30 as well and where I worked took 30 min. to get there without traffic and up to 2.5 hours to get there around rush hour traffic times! If you already have good plans for your daycare, I would say go for it! I was thinking to do the same, however, I live in an apartment right now! It's a great option and you don't have to worry about things like that. With all of the stresses we already have any extra piece of mind is priceless! Plus, with a young child newly going to daycare, they can get sick very frequently and how will your employer feel about that when they aren't even willing to budge that 30 min.? I believe moms having the opportunity to have a home day care is a great opportunity and a blessing.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by ancgan on 8th April 2008
Have you talked to the daycare. They might just be a little flexible and understanding. Or know someone that could help.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Jean on 3rd April 2008
If you are at all like me you will end up stressed and unhappy about your hours and struggling to make it to pick up your child on time. If the employer isn't flexible... that is a good sign that they are not a family friendly company and would probably not be very receptive to taking time off to care for your sick child. Family comes first and its sad that some companies haven't realized that! I think an in home daycare is a great idea if its what you want to do... so many times woman start daycare as a last resort, they aren't happy in it and therefore do not give it all they could. If you want to do it, are excited about it and screen for the right families, it can be a wonderful option which allows you to continue being with your daughter... and the knowledge that she is being taken care of by the best person in the world for the job. Good luck whatever you do. Daycare becomes difficult when you don't have a family support system... After 9 months of daycare once my mother became to ill to care for my kiddos... I quit to work at home.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Yes, Mommy has to work today on 3rd April 2008
Hi bluesky,

From my diverse experience in this field I can offer the following suggestions:

1) Try to negotiate your hours a little more before you accept the position. Be honest about your situation and let it work to your advantage. Be willing to give up something in exchange for getting what you need.

2) Get daycare closer to work and try to get off by 5:30 by giving up 30 mins of your lunch hour. Go in 30 mins earlier to make up the extra time. Employers like someone who can offer something back in exchange for them giving work hour flexibility. 30 mins won't make or break them. Or, offer to go in 1hr earlier to get off 1 hr earlier if you have to go with daycare that's farther away. Ask them outfront what days they will require overtime - so you can negotiate your childcare p/u times around it. ALWAYS BE HONEST ABOUT THESE THINGS. Know what childcare arrangement your going to use before negotiating the over time with them. Gives you more power to negotiate what you can give up.

2) If they aren't flexible - try to talk with the Director of your chosen daycare to find a family or staff member who can care for your child after closing. I would recommend getting someone closer to your job. Maybe one of the staff would be willing to help you out. They usually live close to the daycare and would appreciate making extra money. I used to be a Director of a daycare and this was an acceptable practice. Whatever you choose - always get the agreement in writing.

3) Hire a college student or nanny to pick up the child if you can't get anyone at daycare. They can also care for your child at home until you get there.

4) Offer them a live-in situation (if you have space and not enough money) College students can drive, are responsible and have flexible hours. A nanny may give you the flexibility to work all kinds of hours - but they cost. A college student needs room and board and comes alot cheaper. I did this also when I was younger. I worked for a couple who were doctors and worked around the clock. They paid someone in the daytime and I worked at night for room and board. It worked out beautifully.

5) Go to www.Meetup.com and look for a babysitting group or mommy group in your area. This is a wonderful resource of people who will understand your situation and work with you.

5) Offer to swap care w/ someone you trust in your neighborhood for picking up your child at daycare for you.

6) Open your own daycare and forego the real job for now until baby is a little older. I do this myself.

Good Luck. Hope something sticks. Let me know!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by caramelsugarberry38 on 3rd April 2008
I have 20 month old twins, so I hear you, woman! This is exactly why we have a live in nanny. I leave the house to get to work at 6:30 am, and although I leave no later than 5pm, my hour-long commute means I never get home before 6pm. My husband works many overnights (for example, last night he left at 9pm and he will be home somewhere between 8 and 9 am this morning. I didn't see him before I left for work.)

One of the key things we talked about when we hired our nanny was that we worked odd and very long hours and we would need her to be flexible about her hours. She was fine with that, and still is, after a year of working with us.

The nanny we had before this current one was really inflexible about her hours, and it created a huge amount of stress for me. I had a panic attack on the road when I realized I was going to be late one evening--I had to pull over for 30 minutes because I was hyperventilating so badly! (Which made me even more late--it was a bad moment for me..) I got 2 speeding tickets as well in that time period. That was one of the reasons we let her go--it just wasn't working!

Anyway, I agree with BrendaG about finding the right childcare solution. It makes a massive difference! Good luck!!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by spacegeek on 3rd April 2008
Hi Brenda, thanks for your reply :) We also consider my husband picking my daugter up, problem is that he may be able to pick her up on time some of the days and there are days he works late...he can't change his schedule because the company is not doing great due to the economy...so any suggestion of him leavcing early would put him at risk of possibly being laid off if there will be any in the near future...right now we depend on his income...this is so stressful...I don't know what to do. and i agree that speeding is not the answer...

Flag as inappropriate Posted by bluesky on 3rd April 2008
The stress of traffic when you are trying to drive somewhere for your child is like no other stress in the world! I would think hard about putting yourself in a situation where you are speeding to get to daycare every day.

For us, the solution was to find a daycare near my office. It means that my husband only picks DS up when I'm out of town or up against a very important deadline, but it works for us and reduces my "driving" stress greatly. However, it seems that your issue even goes beyond that, since the office hours are until 6 pm and they're not willing to be flexible.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by BrendaG on 3rd April 2008