Member Questions

Great question.. As I get older I am getting more opinionated!!I was married twice, for the wrong reasons, & I wish society would have been different abckthen, NOw I live with my best friend and will not get married..The reasons are limited to the benefits. my daughter is a new Mother and a Very single parent,..I have lots to say but will wait for another time.

It's so funny you ask this. I am currently writing a book on singles and relationships and during my research the Barna Research Group found that a growing percentage of couples are choosing to live as "committed couples" rather than getting married. This growing trend is becoming the "norm" in our society and it loosely attributed to the lower (%) in the divorce rate. They say because of this trend the divorce rate is not really a true number at 55% because more people are choosing not to marry for fear of their marriage will fall into the statistic therefore it can't be counted when the relationship breaks up. And other statistics are showing that these relationships usually end and the children are still adversely affected. The other down side is when a "committed couple" breaks up there is no financial obligation for the child(ren) or the spouse outside of court ordered child support. No added security for "time served."

That being said, I believe that once society accepts this trend as the "norm" our socieity will be in even more serious trouble than we are now. We have already accepted "living together" before marriage as a norm and people's decision to have children out-of-wedlock. Statistics have also shown that people who "live together" before marriage are more likely to get a divorce than those who do not. This shows the consequences when people live outside of the biblically correct structure of marriage.

"Committed Couples" that break up put a large strain on the family court system who are already innundated with child support cases of out-of-wedlock couples who had never planned to marry. As a whole society I feel we have to be more responsible and follow the moral, ethical and religiousl tenets of marriage and what it was set up to do for men, women and children. There is a moral obligation that people should be driven to that obligates them to follow God's word to marry b/c statistically we are continually shown the negative consequences of our actions when we re-define, distort and decide for ourselves what direction we want to live our lives simply b/c it's more convenient for us.

We have to start trusting more that God knows what best for all of us, and He outlined the structure for correct living in the bible. And that my friends comes from a woman who lived her life on the self-determining end of the fence for many years until realizing how destructive it was for my life and my children. I'm no "bible thumper" who chooses to imbue fanatic religious beliefs all around, but I'm an educated person who has studied and read the statistics and unfortunately am one of the statistics. We must trust that there is a method to God's madness. We were not meant to live by our own understanding.

I am married now and understand fully the protection that marriage gives to the family. There is an obligation, a covenant that is made between a man and a woman that protects the children when we marry. I wouldn't have it any other way.

wow this is actually a really tough question to answer. I think if it was the 'norm' I wouldn't really think of it as abnormal and probably would choose that since I would be more used to that environment. I would also think that the social and support options might be different if this were the norm. but then, maybe i am just WAY over thinking this :)

i most likely would still choose to get married however my husband and I dated for 12 years before we got engaged. we have been married now for 7 years and have our daughter. I enjoy the idea of committment as well.