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What is the most important piece of marital or relationship advice you'd give to a single girlfriend, sister, cousin, or any young person before they got married? Think hard and consider all the problems you know today's singles and married couples face. Nothing is off limits - this is going to affect the rest of their life.”

Asked by caramelsugarberry38 on 8th April 2008

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Comments so Far...

Make sure the person you marry has the same goals. Think long and hard about what's important to you in a person.
Does he compliment you?
Can you learn from each other?
Are you on the same page about kids?
Where do you see yourselves in 5 years and do you have a plan for the future?
How is he with money?
Does he make you laugh?(very important during the rough patches).

What are his expectations in a marriage?

Don't lose yourself as a person, that person you were before marriage and motherhood. It's a hard one but try.

Does it sound like a job interview??? Well it sort of is, and it's a very hard job. Love my husband dearly but marriage is very hard. It's funny because when people get married the LOVE ANGEL floats around their heads and couples think that the angel conquers all but it's not the case. Hard work, commitment, communitcation, respect and dedication is what can make a marriage work.

The "little things" that you may think are cute and endearing now, are the things that will drive you nuts later on.
Looks fade...his personality doesn't good or bad.
Chemistry and communication is key.
Make sure he supports you and repsects you as his partner.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by momof2lovelies on 12th April 2008
I would say that marriage has its own spins and turnoffs and is not the bed of roses as always portrayed.. Its very important to be mutually understanding and knowing each other before tying the knot. Also remember that once you are married, it comes up with more responsibilities. You cannot expect the same kind of happy free birdlike life after marriage. It does take lot of commitment and guts to take the oath and more importantly keep it.. no point in hurrying and breaking and have a broken heart.. life if not worth so many men in life .. get along well with the person, move with him and really know how it would be if were your husband before taking any decision. Else, i would suggest wait.. no hurry and dont spoil ur life.. All the best..

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mauve on 10th April 2008
Dont move in with him until your engaged.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by LEMARAIS on 10th April 2008
The "honeymoon stage" is not the bed of roses it's made out to be. It's the hardest and requires the most amount of compromise.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by annie on 9th April 2008
Don't go to bed angry... try hard to resolve your problems before you end your day. Communicate, even when you don't feel like talking about it. If you have a fight -- and you will -- be respectful, calm, and stick to the issue. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need, and don't forget to ask if your partner needs anything from you. Don't forget that, even as you become part of a unit, you are your own person. "For the pillars of the temple stand apart. And the oak tree and the cypress grow not within eachother's shadow." -- Khalil Gibran.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse on 9th April 2008
Being "in love" is a wonderful thing if it is with someone that will let you be you
Being "in love" is full of comprimises, committments and obligations outside of your own world

I would tell them that BEFORE they commit to:
put themselves first
accomplish the goals they have set for themselves
stick with thier values
if something doesn't feel quit right - follow their gut
do the right thing - even if it hurts
use logic over emotion when making tough decisions
agree to disagree
it's ok to understand without agreeing
instead of going with the flow or whatever comes, think long and hard about what you want to be
know that there are consequences to every action whether good or bad

Flag as inappropriate Posted by work-at-home mom on 8th April 2008
That marriage is not all about love. Know the other person well inside and out, there's a saying love flies out the window the minute poverty knocks on the door, how do you handle finances, how do u feel if the person turns out to be a lazy couch potato. There are so many big and small things to consider, like the other person's small habits that would get in your nerves eventually or the person's outlook in life like feelings about kids, spirituality etc.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mia on 8th April 2008