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I am faced with a predicament.. I have a work experience of around 11 years and currently quit the company as the management wasnt too good. I joined this job knowingly well that it would take me to travel one day or the other.. i was always hoping i will be able to accommodate.. i have my daughter who is around 15 months old and i know she loves and longs for me and i too wouldnt like to leave her and go.. currently, my project manager says i have to travel that too for a period of 3 months!! i cant imagine how will my lil daughter cope without me.. am so stressed out thinking what should i do.. my question to this community is have any of you faced such a situation and how well have you all tackled it.. one one side, i feel like i will call it quits and take up another job which doesnt require me to travel so extensively.. for me i am "OK" to travel for 2-3 weeks max!! but not beyond that.. the current company has the reputation of sending all its employees on long travel.. i have already spoken to my PM and he does understand and he has put off one of my trips but this cant go on for ever... am thoroughly confused.. and stressed out.. ”

Asked by Mauve on 9th April 2008

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Comments so Far...

Thanks a lot for all your replies.. Its comforting to know that there are people who understand such sticky situations and give their best advice.. Yes, i think more or less i will move on or take a break and be with my kid and not feel guilty rest of my life..

And thanks again to all of you out there..!! :)

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mauve on 10th April 2008
Wow, Mauve,
3 months? Hmmm. Ahhhh, let me think a moment. Okay No. No, No, No. 15 month old? No. That's just too long sweetheart. I completely understand your head and heart dilemma here. But, it's time to make another decision. Not only for you and your daughter, but for your PM. They need to move on with the project and prolonging it will make them grow impatient and intolerant. You don't want that.

Although, it's ridiculous (I admit) how these jobs think they can impose on people like this all in the name of business and profits. You never mentioned who would be taking care of the baby which I will take it that you have someone reliable since that wasn't your main point. But I hear your heart's cry about the amount of time away from her that is the real issue here for you. I have 4 children and could never think about spending that much time away from them for a job. I actually put my professional life on hold for them and I'm a SAHM now. They appreciate it and I realize I can't get the time back from being around for their formidable years if I stayed in the professional world that was taking 80 hrs/wk.

You can't get this time back, but you can always get another job. I'd say talk to your employer again and tell him what you can do. See if they can break your travel down into 2-3 stints over a period of 3 mths. If they can't - you've got you answer.

Good Luck! We're here for you and I will keep you in prayer.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by caramelsugarberry38 on 9th April 2008
I say that it's time to find a new job also. I am a single mother and have been faced with the decision to work three jobs just to make ends meet. One day, I broke down, cried for three hours straight as I sat in my car in a parking lot and all of a sudden it came to me. I was killing myself and slowly, but surely, my little boy was growing up without me. Even though the mortgage was due in a few weeks and I had no clue how I was going to make it, I quit. When it comes to your family and peace in your heart, you have to do what makes you HAPPY. I wish you the best of luck!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Roark Design Studio on 9th April 2008
I would say that it is time to find a new job. You clearly are not prepared to be away from your daughter for extended periods of time. Remaining in this work environment is unfair to you, your family and your employer. The sooner you get out the sooner you eliminate that stress for everybody. Including your Project Manager. Good luck!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by KathyHowe on 9th April 2008
Oh wow, 3 months. I personally couldn't take it. The fact that you're willing to do 2-3 week stints is admirable. It's hard for me to be objective in this case, as the length of time that the company expect their employees to give up their home lives seems extremely unreasonable to me. It's one thing if you knew about this ahead of time, but it sounds like you really weren't given a true picture of the expectations. It's not like military service, where it's clear from the outset that these are the expectations (I don't want to start another thread about how even those expectations are being broken...). GL with your decision! We'll be rooting for you, whatever you decide. - Paula.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by tkd_mama on 9th April 2008
I am so sorry you have this choice, I have four children of my own and I know it is very hard to be away from them. There are sacrifices we all have to make, but it is ultimately your decision. No one can make that for you, not even your employer. I wish you the best and hope this turns out the way you prefer it. Strange things happen for a reason....

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kimberlylangert on 9th April 2008