Member Questions

Sounds like your husband is threatened by your potential success. You have to make yourself happy, fulfill yourself. I suggest you tell your husband you love him and how you feel about your relationship but you also need him to support and respect your dreams/goals. Communicate what you want and what concerns him. Work it out. No matter what, respect yourself, your aspirations, and ask him to do same for you.
I created a website www.womencanhaveitall.com specifically for women who choose to have a family and career. These women need encouragement and support. This website provides that. It is currently under construction. It will be revised by 6/30.

Marriage is all about making agreements (also called compromises, lol). You must work together in planning your future. Right now you don't have any children. Go forward with you plan for work. it will benefit you both in the long run for your plan to have children. Together you can earn money and begin to save for when you're ready to start a family. It costs money to run your household even when you become a SAHM not including the extra money you need for baby's needs (your expenses go up tremendously.)

Having money on reserve for that time will always be a plus. So working together right now towards that end seems the perfect compromise.

Also, starting to build a name and reputation in your career right now will always work to your benefit in the future. You can always go back to your career after you have a child. Unless your husband wants you to stay home indefinitely while you continue to build your family. (more than 1 child) In that case talk to him and agree how many children you would like to have now - so you can plan your comeback in the work place.

I was a professional working woman too and after I had my last 2 children my husband didn't want me to work anymore either. He doesn't "love" his job, but he makes a good living so that I can stay home. My income was always a plus, but it always went towards making up the difference for childcare needs. Once we did the math, we found out it was better for me to stay home b/c the cost of daycare and baby needs coupled with the constant conflict I was faced with by the demand on my work hours made for alot of unecessary stress on the home.

Whether we want to admit it or not, we as women have difficult choices to make when it comes to our careers and our family. It's a delicate balance. I've found that being a SAHM requires more energy, work and more hours than working a regular job. That's also why alot of women work from home nowadays. It's a happy medium. It's also why they start their own businesses. You may want to consider these options to for yourself and your family in the future. Talk with your husband about how you can transition from working and building your career now to transitioning it into something you could also do from home. Today, the possibilities are endless for working moms who telecommute in order to fulfill their domestic duties and still feel like their contributing to their career endeavors.

The world is your oyster right now, make the best of it before you have children. Plan when you want to have a child and be PREPARED emotionally, financially, and spiritually b/c you can't take it back once it happens :) (and you won't want to) But sit down with your husband now and explore all the options I mentioned and see which ones are right for you. Keep asking other women and the answers will begin to appear how to juggle this thing and come up with a happy compromise :)

Good Luck,