Member Questions

There are lies, and then, there are lies. One needs to make the difference. The short answer is OF COURSE.
I did lie to her that if she does not give me a kiss I'm going to steel her nose, and if she does not eat vegetables, her bear is going to be very upset with her, if she does not stay for ever in the park (in the middle of a snow), Santa will make a special trip to our house and drop her something nice.
Nevertheless, I would NEVER tell her a lie that has to do with fundamental things. My daughter is soon to be 4, but nevertheless, I strongly believe that good & truthful education does not start at any other age than when you first meet her/his eyes.

What? You're joking right? C'mon let's be real...who hasn't? You know that show a long time ago, "Kids Say the Darndest Things" with Bill Cosby? Well, kids do say the darndest things usually at the wrong time. Oh, how do I know? I have 4 kids of my own, and I was a Center Director for a large corporate daycare with exposure to over 100 kids a day. Ha! Do I know what kids will say! You betcha' (lol)

I admit I spontaneously told my 6 yr old daughter babies were "ordered off the menu at the restaurant" when my daughter asked me (and my husband) over dinner one night. I didn't know what else to say - she was 6 and my two other sons were 3 and an infant. As I choked on my pasta and peered over to my husband with a darting glare with a look that said something like (this is the moment we've been dreading - who's up to bat?) My mouth just shot off without my brain and BOOM - babies somehow (without being rehearsed) were ordered off the menu. Wella! She kinda' laughed and looked at us funny, but she was okay with it temporarily. It bought my some time.

Yes, of course I had to tell the truth when she got older and could understand better and I didn't mind. But, like I said, kids say the darndest thing usually at the wrong time and at the wrong age. You've got to be spontaneous, witty, a bit truthful, and more importantly - age appropriate. We believed in Santa, Easter bunny, and toothfairy (until I couldn't remember to get up in the middle of the night and get the money under their pillow in time, lol) But they usually figured it out way before I was ready to give up the jig.

I believe it's more important to be age appropriate with children than telling them something they can't understand and stealing their innocence before it's time. We all know the world will teach you all the cruel things you'll need to know in perfect time. My parents were always honest with me when it was time and I believe in carrying the torch with that. Honesty is the best policy - when it's time. Until then - keep the "white lie" clean, age appropriate and funny! Kids live in a fantasy world of imagination anyway and aren't ready for some of the real "truths" anyway. Why kill it for them. When they ask something at a young age - they're really not looking the brutal truth, they're looking to have conversation with you - get your attention.

I strongly believe in being honest and having those "important" conversations with older kids that will prevent them from making life long mistakes, but little children are different.

Occasional fibs I suppose. Who doesnt stretch the truth once in awhile esp in those moments where one more question about sends your over the edge. lol But I try not to out right lie. I was told when my kids were very very little if I always used polite language like thank you and please with them that they would pick it up and always use it too., and it totally worked. I believe if I also try to tell them the truth and take that time out to explain things that they will pick up on it and feel comfortable being honest to me.