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I work 50-55 hours a week outside the home, my children are 18 and 10 and I am married. I feel like I have lost control of my household, family and life. Need help, any suggestions>

Asked by christy , 7th Jun Answer this now »
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Ahh, Christy, been there! Keep reminding yourself that real people have messy houses-what u see in magazines and on TV is pretend. Many of us have been sooo conditioned to believe we can and should do it all (the super mom/working mom thing) that we struggle daily to meet these unrealistic expectations. Pick a handful of things that are important to you to get done (mine are, this week anyway,in no particular order) 1) Clean bathrooms/kitchen 2)workout time 3)volunteer work in my community 4)kid time. Each day I prioritize based on my 'important stuff' list. The list changes often depending on my whims-but there are always a few (kid time) that are there. I also have a mental 'what's driving me insane this week' list. I pick the top offender and attack it. One thing at a time and you'll get there!
Both of your kids should have chores every day and big ones on the weekend, as should your husband. Mine likes to live like he's in a frat house (yes, at 48) so be clear about your expectations for the chores (room cleaning: clothes in drawers or laundry, toys in proper places, rug vacuumed). For my dh, if there's a clear path thru the debris, he's thinks he's good!
One of my favorite treats when I'm feeling overwhelmed is to send the laundry out--I LOOVE that...
And most importantly, when you look around your house and your life and feel badly, ask yourself-Is anyone in any imminent danger?? : )
I was feeling the same way...being an accountant and having 3 boys (3,6 and 11) was totally killing me. I think having a cleaning person is MANDATORY when having kids and working F/T. If you can't afford it, cut something else out...bring lunch, make coffee at home instead of Dunkin Donuts....make it work. Then maybe you can cut back just an hour or 2 each day at work. Is that an option? For me, I took the more aggresive approach and started a business from home. It worked for me, but doesn't work for everyone. Good luck keeping your sanity :)
MAC  8th Jun
I was feeling this way about a month ago. I still have 3 kids at home, 10,15 and 18 yo. My solution was to cut back on my hours. I don't know if this is an option for you, but it has made all the difference in the world for us.
Thanks for responding. I have had a lady come in once every 2 weeks sometimes more and she does an O.K. job. My 18 year old is gone all the time and there is only so much my 10 year old can do. I get really motivated on the weekends and tell myself I am really going to give my house a good overhaul and get rid of stuff we don't use anymore. But I get really get really discouraged and depressed about it. I know I can do this and juggle my life as needed, I just can't seem to keep the motivation.
I don't know if this can be helpful to you but is there a way you can get just a bit of help around the house? I know that the cleaning lady that comes in to clean up 1x every two weeks at our house is THE most helpful thing I've done to help me juggle full-time work and family a little easier. Do your kids help out around the house as well?
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