Member Questions

My day starts at 5:30 AM. I catch a bus 1.5 sometimes 2 hours each way to work Monday through Friday. I start work at 8 and end at 4. I have to be at daycare to retrieve my children by 5:30. I then have to contend to after school activities on Thursday (where I must pick up by 5). I rush home to fix dinner and get my girls to bed by 8:30. I then have to clean the kitchen, wash at least one load of laundry and get myself ready for the next day. My husband 95% of the time, drops our daughters off at daycare. He is self-employed and works 7 days a week averaging a minimum 12 hours a day (I say by choice he's addicted to working, he says otherwise). When he comes home, he eats and goes to bed. He loves his business and is very lucrative at it. On the weekends, I spend my time running all the errands that did not get done during the week. As for cleaning, I am a bit of a neat freak. Not a clean freak, there is a difference. I make sure everything is picked up before bed and the house looks neat even though there might be some dust in the corners. I encourage the children to pick up, but as with my husband, it is a struggle. My husband feels like his work is a lot more strenuous than mine, truth be told, physically it is. Maybe not mentally, however, he feels that fact alone has earned him the right to do no choirs around the house. We have paid someone to come in every two weeks (as my husband suggested), however, she has been unavailable for the last month. I think if a couple works full time away from home, everyone is responsible for the same duties at home, no matter who the major bread winner is. Getting my husband to believe that has proven to be harder than it sounds.

I make more than my husband and no it doesn't bother him or me. As long as the bills are paid, and he has time to do his artwork all is good in his world.

We are about equal, though he may have eeked out ahead of me this year. For the most part, it doesn't matter: He has student loan debt, and I have three kids from my first marriage. So, we keep most of our finances separate anyway. I do like feeling like I am making the same though, so I am probably the more competitive of the two of us. He has a steady salary, and I am self-employed, though, so it's interesting.

For many years I was the primary breadwinner but recently the roles have reversed and he is the primary breadwinner. Basically, we make similar salaries but I still manage to take on the majority of child care, household and financial planning responsibilities. My husband is fine when asked (told) to do something but I do get resentful when I'm the one that needs to anticipate, plan and orchestrate our daily living. In other words, it takes a lot of energy to be the one that knows birthday parties need to be planned, Dr's/dentist/ortho/eye dr.appointments need to be made, gifts need to be bought, clothes need to be bought, etc... So while I love my job and earning a good salary - I do get overwhelmed with the responsibility of raising three kids and maintaining a healthy marriage - it's not easy.

I make more....and much like Kate mentioned it is tough since I will never have the option to stay home (although I'm not sure I could!) My husband definitely doesn't care that I make more money...and for the most part we split household chores...

My husband makes more money, but I'm not that far behind. I take care of our son more, but he cleans the house more. I INSIST on doing the laundry because he messes it up. He does the trash and loads the dishwasher. I unload it. He does frequent pick up, but I do the more infrequent deep clean. I cook dinner nearly every night. I feel like it's pretty even most of the time.