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Were you conflicted about returning to work after having kids or always knew you'd go back?”

5 replies so far...

  • aahhh Lylah!! exactly! you are in my head! i had that exact same experience! i was so happy to be back at work, and before i got to work i was afraid i would hate it. then i walked into the office and felt like i finally could BREATH again... so so so happy :) (the "OMG we are SOOOO glad you are back we need your positive influence!" greetings were nice too! lol)

    i had realized i had put off having kids for so long because i kept thinking i had to get to a place financially where i could stay home. being the breadwinner by far, that was going to be tricky LOL so we just decided to go for it and i would go back to work :)

    i think it IS a lot harder when you dont have friends who are also working moms (or moms at all!) - so glad for WIM!!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 17th December 2007

  • I always thought I would go back full time during the day. Instead I am working part time in the evening and on weekends. While it gives me the time to be with my daughter during the day, we have less time as a family. One of us is "working" at home, and one of us is "working" at work. I am blessed to have the time with my daughter, but I finding the opposite schedules to be a challenge as well. There is no easy solution.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Christine on 17th December 2007

  • I wasn't conflicted about returning to work initially. But, I am now. Maybe because I can no longer be the perfectionist that I was pre-Baby. I feel like I short-change work and home. When I go to work, I always arrive a couple of minutes late and I must leave immediately after the day has ended. When I go home, the Baby is hungry, the family needs to be fed .... etc. I feel like the fumbling underachiever at work, because I struggle with home responsibilities while all (and this is not an exaggeration) of my colleagues either have a stay-at-home spouse or live-in nanny or maid to deal with their home lives. I feel like a neglectful mother at home, because I have work responsibilities which sometimes require my attention in the evenings ... when all I want to do is hold and hug and kiss my little guy. Honestly, the past four months, I've been in a deer-in-the-headlights fog trying to find that elusive balance: be the professional woman that my parents groomed from an early age and be that loving mother my young son deserves. At the end of the day, I've learned to say that "I've done the best that I can." I just don't know if my best is good enough.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by KC on 15th December 2007

  • Early in our marriage I learned/figured out that I'd be a working mom. I'd never given this any thought before that time -- always assumed I'd stay at home. So it was a bit of a shock to my system and caused a lot of conflicting emotions. Still does, sometimes, but I'm trying to WORK IT. ;)

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by el-e-e on 14th December 2007

  • I always knew I'd go back. But when the time came to actually go back, I felt horribly guilty. And incredibly relieved. And guilty for feeling relieved. At the time, almost all of my women friends who had kids were stay-at-home moms, and none of the women I worked with directly had young kids. It took some time to understand that what I was feeling was OK, and it didn't make me a bad person or a bad mother, that I was doing what was best for my child, my family, and myself by working...

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse on 14th December 2007