Member Questions

Ask a question

My daughter has bad seperation anxiety, I have issues getting her to sleep in her own bed, at home when i get home from work she cries if she isnt right by me at all times.. its hard to relax and get things done. I do take time out to play with her, I just feel terribly guilty when she cries out that way :( Advice?”

3 replies so far...

  • I feel your pain! The important thing to consider (since you would like not to have her foot in your face while you try to sleep) is that she needs to be able to get herself back to sleep when she wakes up at 1:00 am. Does she have a comfort item like a stuffed animal or blanket? Maybe you could talk to her about how those items sleep in her bed. I know how hard it is, but when she gets up at 1 and wants to get in your bed, I would recommend getting out and sitting next to her bed for a few minutes, but helping her get back to sleep in her own bed. Sometimes just walking her over and rubbing her back will put her back to sleep. I would also suggest that you talk to her about it when you are both awake. Let her help you create a plan by asking, "What can we do to help you fall back to sleep in your own bed when you wake up at night?" You could try implementing a sticker chart so that every time she gets back in her own bed, you put a sticker on the chart in the morning and celebrate her success.

    As for your other issue, try involving her in some of the routines you are doing at home, at "narrating" what you are doing as you get housework done. For example, if you are making dinner, ask her to help pour things into a bowl, or give her some pots and pans to bang on while you work. That way, you are getting what you need done, but she's near you. Try not to give in to the whining, but explain that you have things that you need to do. She can help you or be near you, but you can't carry her around. You could also try to set aside some time to just focus on playing with her before you jump into your evening chore routine (I know how hard this is!). That may be enough undivided attention to make her feel comfortable before you start running around the house. Remember, this will pass!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by KAtwinmom on 20th August 2010

  • You should try the Mumoocie co sleeping pillow invented for children afraid to sleep alone and ease separation anxiety. The pillow has a voice recorder so she can hear your voice as often as she likes and the pillow also retains heat/scent so she will be comforted by familiar smells.Invented by a mom for her own child afraid of the dark and wanted mom to sleep with her at night. Website is

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mumoocie on 8th August 2010

  •'s so hard to hear them cry during those precious moments when you have time together. The only advice I could give here (which I have taken myself) is to just let some of the chores not get done. I mean, your baby needs some time to sit and be cuddled and reassured, it's a big scary world out there, and those chores not getting done aren't what she will remember. What she will remember is her happiness on mommy's (or daddy's) lap...and as my own toddler is approaching the preschool years, I see that the need to want to separate from me is advancing despite the fact that for a long time, she refused to be away from me day AND night. I say to myself "enjoy it while it lasts, in a few months/years she may not want a cuddle quite in the same way".

    Either way, it's tough. But it won't last forever! Good luck.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Javamom on 3rd August 2010