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I need some advice on how to handle a situation with my boss. I work in our business development group which consists of 4 men and me. We have a fall meeting every year, and it was suggested that we do a physical activity that will count towards the fitness challenge we are doing at the office. (I started the fitness challenge back in January). My boss suggests that we do a 90 mile bike ride, collecting donations for every mile our team does. In his email he says..."Jennifer can be the driver and drive along the trail next to us. Unless she wants to ride with us...but it is 90 miles". So, first he points out that I'm not as fit as the rest of them, and therefore wouldn't be able to do the ride. Secondly, he basically alienates me from our team. I want to stand up for myself and say something to him. But I don't know how to address it. Am I over-reacting? Anyone have any thoughts on how to address this with him?”

4 replies so far...

  • Maybe you could suggest rotating who rides and who drives throughout the 90 miles, so each team member gets a chance to ride with the others.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Allison on 15th September 2010

  • I'm very much a to-the-point person. I would respond to him, in person, with a printout of said e-mail. My tack would be something like this:
    Sir, I understand that you've volunteered me to drive, however, this is news to me as I was planning on committing to the ride. Can you please explain why you don't want me to ride with the team?
    Hear him out and don't shut him out while you're listening.

    If he won't budge, say, "Thank you very much however, I'm not comfortable driving, nor am I comfortable with the fact that it appears that you're isolating me from my team." and work resolution from there.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Phe on 7th September 2010

  • I would ask him why he would assume that you didnt want to ride. Then I would explain that you had every intention of riding and that they will have to find another driver. I am more to the point and always ask why something was said, especially when its implied that I cant do it because I am female.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by oceans mom on 2nd September 2010

  • Uhm....just say that you plan on riding too and someone else can be driver because girls rule and boys drool! LOL seriously, if you want to ride, ride. Don't say anything, just quietly prove what an ass he was to even suggest it.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by MamaLisa on 1st September 2010