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I'm a divorced parent in TX and TX allows for the non custodial parent to have 30 consecutive days with the child at age 3. I would be allowed to have my daughter 1 weekend out of the 30 days, but that's it. My child has only just turned 2 but I am already terrified about this. She is very close to me and has not yet developed a bond with her bio dad. Since her birthday is so late in the year, she will be a few months shy of 4 instead of 3 when this happens. Has anybody been through this? I am nervous she will think I just left her, will be sad and I'm truthfully nervous about how I will do too. I want her to have a relationship with her dad and I do all I can to encourage it, but 30 days at age 3 is a long time to be without your primary care giver don't you think? I'm hoping some of you have been through this or have some kind of advice. I just need to know she will be okay and that I will too. Hopefully age 3 1/2 is old enough to understand more than she does now and that will help. Right now she cries every time he picks her up and he drives away with her screaming mommyyyy and it breaks my heart. At this rate, I don't see how 30 days is going to go...”

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  • Do you talk with her about what's happening? She's old enough to understand. And no matter your feelings about her dad, do you stay neutral and try to be upbeat? If she senses it upsets you then it will upset her. Do you ask her about what she does with her dad? Helping her connect fun things it could help; and if there's something really wrong it could help you figure out what that is. One mom I know discovered daddy's idea of family time was dropping their daughter at the home of the new girlfriend's mother, and leaving her there. He found himself back in court getting a lecture from the judge about the point of visistation!
    It may feel so close but sounds like it's a year and half before you'll deal with it; your daughter is going to do a LOT of maturing between now and then. Age two-and-a-half to three is when my daughter really started to develop her bond with her dad. Now she's eager for their visits. Also note that just because he gets 30 days consecutive; he might not want them; my daughter's dad gets two weeks of vacation with her; he has NEVER taken them. Likewise the alternating holidays? Yeah, he took Thanksgiving ONCE in six years. I think it was more about having his rights than doing anything with them.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mich on 13th October 2010