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Do you ever discuss money with friends or do you think talking about things like who makes what is a bad idea?”

Asked by Work It, Mom! Team on 20th January 2008 | 12 replies

12 replies so far...

I do not discuss money with some of my friends. I do discuss with other friends. I never discuss my personal income or investments with friends at all. I made the mistake of getting into an investment club with friends and it did not work well. When you have different money philosophies, there is going to be conflict. I also never discuss money in the negative, which some of my friends do.

I do have a friend who is a financial coach who hosts a group each month, where like minded women get together and discuss money and investing for women. I find it helpful and the sessions always leave me reflective. We share tips and knowledge. But never go into specifics of our own money or net worth. Sharing for the sake of helping others advance is good. Sharing to brag, not good at all.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Adrienne Graham on 9th March 2008
Budgets, investments..etc are great things to talk about with friends to varying degrees. If they like investments then I talk more in depth.

I don't mention incomes.

Though, if I am stressed about an over due invoice I'll tell friends just that. With friends that work on contracts or have start up businesses we get a little more in depth. Because we all have the same issues and see the same problems. We can exchange ideas.

It is all based on how long I have known them and if we have similar situations. I also ask them straight out is it o.k. if I mention a bit about a financial issue because they are bothering me.

So, I ask first and don't talk long about it, ten minutes, just to get it off my chest. And I think they appreciate having someone that knows where they are coming from when they have issues too.

I never mention things to new friends or associates or if they don't have the same kinds of cash flow.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Tara on 25th January 2008
I don't think it's a good idea for me. I have friends from different salary ranges and I don't think I would bring it up in discussions.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by shanspring on 24th January 2008
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Flag as inappropriate Posted by shanspring on 24th January 2008
I enjoy conversatons about how money works, about investment ideas and budgeting and planning -- I'm good with budgets, but not good with investments, and like to learn more. Those kinds of conversations are productive and constructive. Boasting about your income is neither. I do not share my income with anyone except my accountant.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by MaryP on 22nd January 2008
I never discuss what my salary with friends....or with certain family members for that matter. People are always trying to guage whether they make more money than you and your spouse do.

I am very comfortable discussing ways to save money and ways to use money.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Uhura on 22nd January 2008
Yes! I love talking about money and I blog about it everyday. IMO, talking about money removes the stigma and assumptions associated with flashy material things. Of course, there are some things that are TMI, but productive money discussions shouldn't be treated like the plague. If money was openly discussed more often, especially at home and in school, our society wouldn't be laden with debt or driven to "keep up with the Joneses."

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Single Ma on 22nd January 2008
I don't usually talk about money with friends, especially when it comes to personal information like salaries and bills.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Naturalsoycandles on 22nd January 2008
I don't talk to my friends about specifics around salaries exactly but I do talk to them about ideas for reducing debt, life insurance, investing, day to day money management matters, etc. I think those discussions can be VERY productive.

I have one girlfriend in particular who I talk about money with fairly often but our conversations have NOTHING to do with bragging about salaries, shopping sprees or the like. The conversations have everything to do with how can we be smarter with our money.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by KathyHowe on 21st January 2008
This is a good questions, because I'm still thinking about it this am. Probably because my hubby and I are in the process of buying a more family friendly car. We plan to trade in my Infiniti G35 coupe. There was a time not too long ago that I equated a status symbol (Mercedes, BMW, Infiniti) with happiness. Only, I found myself driving the coupe just generally UNHAPPY on more than one occasion. Even during this current car shopping expedition, I felt far more comfortable at the Subaru dealership than the Mercedes dealership, reflective perhaps of being more comfy in my skin and not needing to prove my internal worth through external measures.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by KC on 21st January 2008
I guess I do mention money and salary in a general way maybe like "Heck I wish I made that much" or "Great a janitor makes more then I do" something along those general lines. When someone reveals their spouse makes 6 figures I simply answer "that's great" because as KC says money doesn't guarantee happiness.

Having left the high paying corporate job behind I know for each thousand more you make it means you give to the company far more then you gain. Why are so many families disfunctional, why are so many kids getting into drugs and sex. It all roles back to "reach that American Dream", people equate money with power but I say AT WHAT COST. The cost is to our families our friends and mainly to ourselves. We stress ourselves out, we give THEM to much of ourselves, we ruin our health so that "Mr Corporation" can determine your destiny.

Okay I'm off my soap box....

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mary Jane on 21st January 2008
I don't think money discussions are productive. But, I'm a low-key person when it comes to stuff like that, and don't feel the need/desire to discuss it. I can remember one monologue -- and I purposefully write monologue because it was a one-sided conversation -- in which my colleague boasted to me that she and her husband were making a ridiculous amount of money; in fact "more money than both sets of parents combined." I wasn't quite sure what to say... ?congratulations? I realized early on that money doesn't guarantee happiness.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by KC on 21st January 2008