Member Questions

Ask a question

What's the most obnoxious comment you've gotten as a working mom?”

Asked by Work It, Mom! Team on 28th January 2008 | 8 replies

Leave answer

8 replies so far...

I once had someone tell me that anyone who was too selfish to give up their career when they had kids shouldn't have kids in the first place. She said this when I was visibly pregnant and had been very upfront about my plans to return to work.
All you can do with comments/people like this is roll your eyes, say "OK, crazy lady," and move on.

I also agree with the "someone else raising your kids" thing being completely nonsensical. For some reason, once kids are five it is apparently fine to ship them off to let "someone else raise them" 7-8 hours a day, but God forbid anyone do that with a child under 5. Maybe I have missed something - but I don't think once kids are five they are able to feed and clothe themselves and have completely formed their psyches, personalities and value systems.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by amyella on 3rd February 2008
From a neighbor: "Well, if you're working, then who is taking care of your children?"

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse on 31st January 2008
The most annoying comment was actually from my best friend who is a stay at home mom.
I had a rough day and actually complained about work, so she said ............
If you changed your lifestyle, you wouldnt have to work. You dont need that big house, or that level car, or most of that stuff. You CAN stay home ya know.
In return I just said........
ARE YOU KIDDING? WHAT, AND BE YOU??? No thanks!
( she was pissed, but she got over it ;)

Flag as inappropriate Posted by DebR on 30th January 2008
"Oh, you work from your home, that must be nice. You have so much time to cook and clean then!"

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Nataly on 30th January 2008
I have a colleague who comments,regularly, when there's a daycare discussion, that he can't understand how we can let other people raise our children.

Although (tee hee) I'm such an mpb (menopausal B***) these days, last time I blurted out 'well, why aren't you homeschooling then?'

I'm all over the 'I don't know how you do it' comment..I hear that regularly! My mean inside voice always says 'because I get off my butt and do it and i don't hang out and thing about it' --but with lots more curse words.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by OliveMartini on 30th January 2008
ick! people are so weird! i have to say, i had more weird conversations where i work BEFORE i had kids like "you dont have kids? why not? when are you going to?" which is just so hard to answer with out saying MYOB! lol!

lately the only thing i got was someone assuming that because it was snowing that i wouldnt be in the office because i would have to go 'pick up the baby'. however, she had no idea of my situation and was jumping to unfair assumptions. i was highly annoyed the moment but later in other conversations realized she was actually very nice, just the type to say things with out thinking. she was very supportive and excited when i told her my daycare was at my hubby's work and would be the one leaving if everything closed! lol

sometimes people just have such a completely different view of life they can't understand how (or why!) we do what we do!

KC - hilarious that that woman is so condesending! if she EVER says that again you should just give her a 'knowing look' and say 'watch out! you might not escape either!' and wink at her LOL she is just trying to assert herself as an authority over you and not doing a very good job! (alpha dog type)

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 29th January 2008
I can only answer this question because it JUST happened to me. I met my newest colleague the other day and she managed to insult me not just once BUT three times. I was amused when she name-dropped an important previous assignment she had, at a random and inappropriate moment. I was surprised when she questioned my friendly advice about the quickest way to get to work from where she would be living. ("You say it takes 45 minutes to get to work in the morning, but it just now took me 9 minutes at 2 pm!) But I was downright ANNOYED when she asked me if I had children and when I answered affirmatively she said, "Oh, so you didn't escape fellowship without joining the mommy's club." ?! I got the distinct impression that she viewed this as a bad decision and that somehow it was unprofessional. It takes a while for me to feel insulted, but I left that conversation hoping that it was one of the few that I'd ever have with her.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by KC on 29th January 2008
I have 4 kids and I constantly get the comment "I don't know how you do it"? This really drives me crazy because 90% of the time, the tone of the comment does not sound like one of support, but rather one of judgement- like someone in my family must be suffering because I work and have 4 children. I find myself becoming defensive when this happens. I have even had this comment made to me while trying to network for a new job?? And, 99% of the time, it is another female that makes the remark. I'm glad to have the support of my friends and family. And, even though I am new to Work It, Mom, I can already tell that I will find support here!!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Writingfoursanity on 29th January 2008