Member Questions

Ask a question

Do you ever envy moms who stay home with their kids full-time?”

13 replies so far...

  • Not really. I could never do it. I admire them though.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by jodazaca on 2nd March 2008

  • My answer is no - I don't envy them. I fully respect them and the choice they have made. And I think the operative word here is CHOICE. Years ago, we didn't have much choice, and those who chose to work, unless it was in a tradionally female field, were looked down upon. I come from a LONG line of women who have worked outside the home, because in my family, no woman should EVER have to be dependent upon a man for her livlihood. And believe me, considering the very rural area that I came from, my family was very much in the minority. But both my grandmothers were very much insistent on that, even tho one of them was a farmer's wife. So, in that context, I respect those who choose to not enter the workplace, but no, I don't envy them. I have always prefered to make my own way and to not contribute financially to my family is totally unthinkable and unacceptable.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by JKLD on 1st March 2008

  • I admire SAHMs, but don't envy them. Too tough a job for me!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by KC on 29th February 2008

  • I used to work outside home m/w/f and home with kids tues/thurs, but I felt more guilty WITH them then I do without them. I felt like a successful day was one without TV. It was a struggle to think of ways to keep them happy and safe. It just wasn't for me. However, now I work FT but far away (hour to an hour and a half commute), and I just wish I could spend a bit more of each day with them. I am out of the house 11 hours each day. So, I wish I were a teacher, or free-lance or something with fewer hours.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by BethV on 29th February 2008

  • No way -- the thing I just can't get over is that the job never stops -- yes, as a WOHM I'm doing the "second shift" trying to get the domestic things done in the after hours, but I know I'm building a secure future for my daughter. I do envy WAHM, though, and if I can think of a way to make it happen in the future, watch me do it!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by relaxnsmile on 29th February 2008

  • That is a very tough question. It's a 50/50 split. As a mother of course I have always dreampt of being home with my children and watching them grow up and seeing the things I missed when I was away from home. Now that Iam home I do enjoy being here with them but I know in my household it takes 2 people to bring a desent income for our family. With my situation we have 2 children diagnosed with ASD and one parent would work while the other tended to the babies. I have been the bread provider in our household and I made more money than my husband but now that Iam home and he's working .. I feel bad . I feel bad because it's all on him , and on the other hand I do miss working alot. I have gained so many wonderful friendship with my co-workers. I guess I kind of stand in between, in the middle :)

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Shelly on 29th February 2008

  • I sometimes fantasize of not having to go to work and getting to stay home more often or getting the kind of job where I can make my own schedule and call the shots. Staying home full time does not work with my personality or temperment but freelance work (that pays really well :) which allows for a lot of free time sounds nice.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Walk On the Moon on 28th February 2008

  • I don't envy moms just because they stay home. I envy the moms who have such a clear picture of what they want, who don't seem to have any regrets or guilt about their choices. Some of my friends who are SAHMs definitely fall into that camp. And some of my working mom friends do as well. Me, I'm in the middle. I love my job, but I also have to acknowledge that it wasn't leaving me time for a life - and with three young kids, that was definitely a problem for me.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Jen S on 28th February 2008

  • I do not envy stay at home moms, my mother was a stay at home mom and I know how hard she worked. It wasn't until my sister and I started school full time and were more independant (upper elementary) that she even considered taking a part time job. And I discovered in the time I was home for maternity leave that I could never be a stay at home mom. I enjoy my job and worked too hard in college to be able to do the job that I have.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by aggiemom on 28th February 2008

  • no - i need people far too much! just working at home one day every other week or so drives me BONKERS! and that's with OUT the little guy running around (oh yeah, he goes to daycare on those days!). honestly i dont think i have the patience... i think i would have to either just be a SAHM or work outside the home. i honestly dont know how you moms are able to work at home AND have the little ones around! i am in awe of you! commuting to work and dealing with normal office crapola may be stressful, but i can leave it at work!!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 28th February 2008

  • I can't even answer this because my answer changes from day to day...
    I work outside the home M,T,W. My mornings are chaotic- getting 2 kids up, dressed and out the door on time. My days are overwhelming- trying to get a week's worth of work completed in 3 days. My evenings are hectic trying to get out of work on time to beat the worst part of rush hour- to get home to have dinner as a family. Once dinner is over we have a bit of family time before we do our bedtime routine.
    I am off on Thursdays and Fridays, although I work from home as a freelance writer and I also have an online business. It is NOT easy. For those who have young children and work from home, you know what I mean. For example, I started to write this response over an hour ago. Had to put it aside to: Get my 1 year old off the cedar chest he crawled up on. Get my 3 year old a snack. Then 2 minutes later, some juice. Then, after sitting down again- she needed help with a toy. Then, my 1 year old is splashing away in the dog water. I just sat down again- my 1 year old figured out how to climb up on his sister's toddler bed and rom there, climb onto the bookshelf! I just finally put them both down for their afternoon nap. This is the time I am able to get a couple hours of work done (and late at night after they go to bed). The thing is, I am exhausted now and want to take a nap too!
    My coworkers say oftern "must be rough only working PT and being able to stay home on Thursdays and Fridays." My response (and to my husband as well) is "My job outside the home is a piece of cake compared to being a stay at home mom".
    People just don't get it, do they?

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Earthmama on 28th February 2008

  • I am a working mom (full time out of the house) with a 6-month old, and it is tough tough tough emotionally and physically. (Emotionally difficult to separate and physically exhausting, not to mention the accumulated stress these feelings put on marriage.) Unfortunately our family's financial situation (specifically health insurance costs) forced my return to work, otherwise I would have stayed home. I absolutely "envy" SAHMs, BUT I also know, the grass is greener on the other side. I know that staying at home has its own set of difficulties (loneliness, boredom, intellectual frustration, resentment, guilt, etc.). I remember during my maternity leave of 3 months, by the end of it, I was really getting cabin fever and ready to "get back to the world" of people. It might have been b/c we live in a small apartment, or maybe I was slightly post-partum, but I was def. feeling not great about staying at home all day with baby. But then it came time to return to work, and the difficulty of this BY FAR, outweighed that of staying at home. In the end, I would much prefer the luxery or option of staying at home to raise my child (ESPECIALLY if it's an infant). ON THE OTHER HAND, I need to have a purpose in life other than raising my child. So I think it would be really neat to have a job from home, like freelance writing or whatever.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Amber on 28th February 2008