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I am about to go back to work after having my son 12 weeks ago. I am lucky that my best friend will be able to watch him and I don't have to put him in daycare, but I am still very sad to leave him all day. I have to go back to work full time, staying home is not an option financially. Will my baby forget me? How can I make sure our bond remains strong? Thank you for any advice, this is eating me up inside!”

Asked by Deb L on 17th October 2011 | 6 replies

6 replies so far...

I had to do the same thing with my first son, and I cried every day when I left. After months or crying, it finally started to get a little easier... But then separation anxiety set in and he started crying everyday when I left. Leaving him to go to work was absolutely miserable, but I had no choice.
However, no matter how hard it is, it is doable. You child will absolutely not forget you; your bond is unbreakable! Even when he is older and is sad when you leave, he won't be miserable all day. After a few minutes of being sad he will find something fun to do and he will be fine. Leaving will be harder on you than him.
I am about to return to work after my second child, and I wish so bad that I didn't have to go. I am just doing my best to remind myself that at least I have a good job, and I have a safe place for my kids to go while I am there.
Just make the best of the time that you do have with your child. I know leaving your baby is not easy in any way, but it's just what some of us have to do. Good luck!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Melissa3492 on 12th November 2011
Oh I used to cry and cry. Your baby knows who you are even before he/she knows your name. You shared a body for nine months. He knows your smell, your voice. Dont worry, even though you will. :)

My little girls love Ms. Kimmie, their daycare provider, and they spend 12 hours with her and 12 hours with me M-F. If I leave work early or have a day off, I pick them up early or keep them. My oldest is now 5, I worried about Kindergarten by the way, and loves spending time with Ms. Kimmie. THey view her more like Aunt Kimmie but they both, my 5 year old and 1 year old both know who mommie and daddy are. Enjoy your little one. One day he/she will get on that bus to go to kindergarten and you'll worry all over again. I'm a wreck, LOL!!!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Sami on 11th November 2011
Great advice! Thanks Elee!!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Deb L on 18th October 2011
He will not forget you! And he won't love you any less. You're his mom, no one else. My only option was to put my kids in daycare at 12 weeks, and they're doing great (7 and 3 now). I think it's a really good thing when kids are used to being with, and listening to, other adults. He's going to do great, and you will too!! ...My one note of advice is to make sure, when you get home, that you and baby have some snuggle time together before you rush into making dinner, doing laundry, or anything else. It's a good transition and bonding time. Tell him about your day! One day he'll tell you about his! :) ((hugs))

Flag as inappropriate Posted by el-e-e on 18th October 2011
Thank you, Sirena!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Deb L on 17th October 2011
I worried about this too when I went back to work when my daughter was 12 weeks old, she is now 20 months old and we have a close bond. They do not forget you as you both have a special bond, they know you are the mama. For me, I worked near the day care center and went in to nurse / feed her during my lunch hour. It was a stress reliever for me to play with my cuddly baby and take a break and it was nice for her to see mama. If you can, get to the caregiver's house a few minutes early to help feed him there, or play with him there at the end of the day. Leave something that smells like you, or a picture in a soft frame for him to hold of your family. It's nice that the child knows you are comfortable with the decision and they will relax as well. It takes time. Remember, it's the quality of time we spend with our kids, not the quantity.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Sirena on 17th October 2011