Member Questions

My husband just got a new job that seems to include lots of travel, hopefully not for long. I don't mind it too much yet, for two reasons 1) his old job required a lot of hours, until 8 or 8:30 every night anyway. 2) As noted by others above, I too have become far more self reliant. OK 3 reasons 3) so far, my husband has shown he misses us significantly. I think it has been harder on him than us.

My kids are 8, 5, 2. It was far harder when they were younger to have my husband come home so late. now, even with a two year old and three kids to get to bed, I don't mind when husband is gone so much. When he got home late instead, it would be like this. Make dinner for all, clean up, get the kids stuff ready for school, get baths, get changed, get teeth brushed, etc., clean up that mess, tuck kids in ten times, make a list of things I want to accomplish now that my chores are done--Oh, wait, hubbys home. Spend time with him instead, take care of my stuff tomorrow. Now at least when he travels, I know when my chores are done and kids are in bed, it is me time.

I think if he traveled a lot it would be far more upsetting. Hopefully that doesnt happen. FYI: my sister's husband is a merchant marine (works on large boats). They often have schedules such as 60 days on a boat, 30 days off. She has become so sufficient at almost everything, it's quite impressive.
Wow

When we first got married my husband traveled for work. He would travel for 1-3 weeks at a time. In the summer of 2005 he had to go to Texas for an entire month while I was pregnant with our 4th child and very sick. It was one of the toughest times in our marriage. He really stopped traveling after that, and was able to work from home. That was a blessing, but now his contract has changed again and he's traveling 2 states away for work everyday. He works 12-13 hrs/day for 9 days and gets 1 Friday off every other week. We just started this routine. I am up with the kids in morning, stay with the little ones during the day, keep them occupied, do all the errands, cleaning, shopping, cooking, laundry, and homework for now. He helps clean the kitchen at night with the older ones.

It's hard sometimes and I feel like alot is on my shoulders (like being a single mother again). I don't know when this contract will end, but I try to be a loving, helpful wife b/c that's what I signed up for, right? lol! I have to admit though, I do worry about the distance and amount of hours he's away from home, but I keep my mind occupied and talk to him several times throughout the day. What else can you do?

Lately, I've been the one traveling more often. Either way it's a strain, but we both try to limit the nights away as much as possible. I'd rather pull a 14 hour travel day and be there overnight in case something goes wrong with the baby (sick, teething, etc). The hardest part is the mornings, since we usually tag-team in the morning to get ready and out the door in time.

DH does travel some He is gone 12-13 hours a day then comes home and eats he does this 10 days straight then he gets on a good 'off' 4 days off but usually its one if we are lucky two. He rotates shifts from Days shift, Swings the Next, then Grave yards the next. I Do realize that it is not the same as a traveling husband that is gone for days at a time. However some shifts do feel that way and do take an emotional toll on me. It is really rough being the only parent here for these long periods at a time. I cope with it by chatting with my mom or sending them to bed early so I can have some time to relax.