Member Questions

I don't think this is uncommon at all. I truthfully think those with stay at home spouses come to enjoy the benefits of having someone available all the time. Having the spouse help out financially can sound great, but often, once the (let's say the husband for now) no longer has the advantage of a stay at home spouse to tackle the household responsibilities (chores, dinners, kids) it gets irritating quickly. I'm a WAHM and it gets really hard to work with my young children. When I do get a lot done, I feel guilty, because that means I didn't spend time wtih them. Sometimes my husband is more than willing to help out, lots of days he got home too late to help, other times he's grumpy (because he was tired and now has to deal with the kids). And yes, as mommydee stated above, what's social time? Okay it may be healthy to get social or down time, but reality is reality.

Possible tips: try a rotating schedule such as: Monday, Wed and every other Saturday your husband is responsible for the baby (call it bonding time or daddy time or some other positive name). That allows your husband to relax Tues. Thurs. evenings. Every other Saturday you reserve for each other. (Of course, the schedule must fit your work needs). If you need more time for work consider setting aside two hours during the day when the baby is napping or playing next to you (it's important to encourage this anyway.) Another way to save time, is to prepare for evening baby chores and dinner during the day. Cook large batches of dinners during the weekend and freeze. Set aside pjs and bedtime stuff ahead of time. Give your baby a bath before dinner--or let your spouse enjoy it as special bonding time (rather than a chore). .

Right now we are in a situation where he is a SAHD of a 3 and 5 year old. It works out well for us because I am a salaried retail manager and I need a fair amount of flexibilty in my schedule. We keep going back and forth over him going back to work but our schedules would be very difficult to manage. I work every other weekend and that alone would make finding a job for him difficult. We have no family close to us so we'd have to hire someone to sit and unless he finds a REALLY well paying job, it wouldn't be worth it. So for the moment it's him working with my schedule at least until our youngest is in full time school. BTW what's this thing called social time? I think I forgot what it was! :-)