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Does anyone feel that us working moms do 1,000% more than stay at home moms, but get 1000% less credit, respect, admiration? How do you handle this?? And how to you keep yourself going with this uneasy feeling?”

Asked by Maddy Kandelman on 17th May 2008 | 18 replies

18 replies so far...

Most of my friends are also SAHMs and I really get tired of hearing how hard their lives are. I would like them to live one week of my life balancing work and home life and see if they ever complain again. Don't get me wrong, I feel and appreciate the stress of being a SAHM, especially when I am off on school breaks and at home with my son...I don't believe for a second that it's an easy job. However, working moms have the same expectations placed on them that SAHMs do (clean house, dinner on the table, having quality time with the kids), but we have a lot less time and energy to fullfill them.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by picturehappymommy on 18th May 2008
Yes, all of my friends and most of my family are SAHM's and I get really tired of hearing how "lucky" I am that I "get" to go to work everyday. Sheesh, yeah, I get to go to work, but when I get home I "get" to do all the work that they were home doing all day. I have zero sympathy for all the whinning that will start soon when the kids are home from school for the summer too.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by MortonPixie on 18th May 2008
I agree with Niki D, there is a new camp emerging, the work at home moms who have to do both jobs . . . inside the home. I work at home and it is without a doubt the hardest thing I´ve ever done. I haven´t worked outside the home with kids, but I have been a SAHM and it was awful. I was very bored with just changing diapers and feeding the baby, so for me it was much better to start working again.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Genesis on 17th May 2008
yup
Totally feel that way.
I feel that my SAH mom friends think I have it easy, which is annoying.
They always state how jealous they are that I get adult time etc.
Yea, adult time. With crazy clients and a nut boss, wonderful.
Most of the people I know are not in need of money, so they stay home with no problems.
We could never do that. We rely on my salary.
They just dont understand the pressure.
Work, mom, family, constant pressure.
The men at work think being a mom is easy. very annoying.
Most older folk/family think I am working because I WANT to.
I would never stay home full time by choice, but would love a less demanding job, and not have to rely on my paycheck. To have it more for extra. Instead of need. Part time job would suit me just fine.
This post has hit a nerve. So I will stop typing now.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by DebR on 17th May 2008
I think that working moms do not get nearly enough respect, but I think SAHM moms are missing their fair share too. I also think we have this new group, work at home moms, who manage the kids during the day and then have a full or part time business operating out of their home. I work at home one day a week, and that is really difficult to manage. That is, by far, my least productive day of the week.
I think it's hard because there is this expectation (real or self-imposed) that we be as good at our job as those without children (who can put in a gazillion hours with no guilt) and be as hands-on and creative and involved as the SAHM moms.
Both have their own difficulties, and challenges. As a work outside the home mom, you know where my sympathies lie, but I think that too often mom's are divided into these separate camps. We are all so tough on ourselves, then when you throw in someone that we think might be judging us unfairly, yikes!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Niki D on 17th May 2008
Yes, you are absolutely right. I had my first daughter 12 years ago and have worked full time in the financial services industry / management ever since. I always said since that time that full time stay at home moms had a harder job than us - until recently when I gave birth to my second daughter who is now 8 weeks old. Having been home with both girls on maternity leave I understand how hard it is going to be to do both again. Two full time jobs for sure, and you're right it is not respected because we leave out kids to go out and work although it is in their best interest in that we are doing our best to support them and remaining successful in our career while balancing both. After having my second child and being a bit more mature I realize that staying at home with the kids is easier than balancing that role with maintaining a full time career on top of it.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Dennise on 17th May 2008